Why do I feel so much anxiety when it comes to gay marriage?

JP1

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Remember that until recently, there was no kind of federal definition of "marriage," and there is no reason for there to be a federal definition of marriage at all. I doubt very much that the SCOTUS will create its own definition of marriage--what it's more likely to do is merely to rule that every state must accept each other's state-certified marriages.

All that would have to happen is that the states drop their own association with "marriage" and pass a law that replaces "marriage" with "domestic partnership contract" wherever it appears. Federal agencies would do the same by a federal law. They can grandfather current "marriage certificates" to be acceptable as "domestic partnership contracts," but they ought to pass additional legislation at the state level to define them more clearly going forward.

The context was whether clergy who feel that gay marriage is a sin would have to perform those marriages even if it goes against their religious beliefs. It goes beyond that even. Justice Alito brought up the point this last week regarding Christian schools and universities losing their tax exempt status if they opposed same sex marriage, and the response was "It's going to be an issue." Apparently in Bob Jones University vs. The United States (you can Google that), it was ruled that "the religion clauses of the First Amendment did not prohibit the IRS from revoking the tax exempt status of a religious university whose practices are contrary to a compelling government public policy."

So, this current argument in front of the supreme court goes far beyond just whether 2 men or 2 women can marry one another. It is opening a whole can of worms.
 
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RDKirk

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The context was whether clergy who feel that gay marriage is a sin would have to perform those marriages even if it goes against their religious beliefs. It goes beyond that even. Justice Alito brought up the point this last week regarding Christian schools and universities losing their tax exempt status if they opposed same sex marriage, and the response was "It's going to be an issue." Apparently in Bob Jones University vs. The United States (you can Google that), it was ruled that "the religion clauses of the First Amendment did not prohibit the IRS from revoking the tax exempt status of a religious university whose practices are contrary to a compelling government public policy."

So, this current argument in front of the supreme court goes far beyond just whether 2 men or 2 women can marry one another. It is opening a whole can of worms.

If Christian schools have any taxable income, they're using the wrong accountants.
 
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Norm d'Plume

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I don't support "gender-neutral" marriage, because the Bible clearly says that marriage is a holy constitution between a man and a woman. Then, when I'm under pressure by reading texts about how the Bible is wrong and listen to people complaining to me about how homosexuals should have the right to marriage, I get anxiety. I have nothing against homosexuals, referring to the Golden Rule and the Great Commandment, but I just can't accept them getting married...

I don't understand why I feel so much pressure in my heart about this.

I'm a gay man and can honestly tell you that I never had a choice about the matter. I've known since puberty that I was different. It's very easy to understand what it's like to be gay: I am no more able to feel an attraction to the opposite sex than you are to the same sex. That's all there is to it.

I grew up in a conservative city and for years was terrified that someone, especially my family, would find out about my orientation (note that I say "orientation", not "lifestyle"). Eventually, events in my life led me to New York City where I met and befriended other gay people. I eventually came to accept my orientation as a gift from God, but I had wasted over half a lifetime getting there. I no longer have any desire to be anything other than what God made me.

There is no reason to fear gay marriage. No one is going to force you to attend one. Why would you be bothered if two people who love each other want to get married and share their lives with the same rights and responsibilities as any other citizen. Do you want to ban them from seeing their dying partner in a hospital because of their orientation? It still happens. Do you want to ban them from holding jobs, finding shelter, or shopping in certain stores, as we once did with blacks. It all still happens.

Is that really what God wants?

The Bible is filled with verses of human acts for which a sinner shall be stoned to death. If you want a list of them, see: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Stoning. Could you ever even imagine doing so? Are you not outraged as a Christian when you see people thrown off tall buildings in the Middle East solely because of their orientation? Those who survive the fall are then stoned to death.

Is that really what God wants?

If you agree that all of the verses encouraging stoning should be followed, then I suppose you can include killing me among them. But remember, even if you don't believe it's an orientation/gift from God, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I find that a much more humane answer to the violence advocated by the Old Testament.

As for gay marriage, our government is founded on a principle of the separation of church and state. Perhaps you don't agree with that. However, if you do, then the government has no business telling anyone whom they can and cannot marry. Their only role should be to issue a marriage license. I can then go to my church to get married, and you can go to yours. My sins are no more your business than yours are mine. I'll gladly let God sort it out.

If you want a life-altering experience that will give you true inner peace, work with homeless youth. But do so knowing that many of them have been discarded by their families solely for being gay. Don't try to convert them, because you can't. Just love them, as Jesus would have.

I think that's what God wants.

Norm
 
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com7fy8

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We were all born in sin; so yes we all can have wrong things driving us the wrong way. But Jesus is able to set us free from dominating and dictatorial drives >

"'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:29)

So, if people are promoting what is wrong, have compassion; "it could be me."

"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray, since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)

"Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted." (Galatians 6:1)

So, it is important not to allow evil activities to have power over you to get you upset and downcast and afraid; or else, then you are in weakness so things can mess with you. And ones try to use pleasure to ease their feelings of their deep misery and mess of hate and boredom and loneliness and hurts and unforgiveness and frustration and stress. But weakness for foolish pleasure helps maintain us in weakness so also we can keep suffering deeply.

So, preference for pleasure and love idols is wrong, keeping us from enjoying God sensitively and intimately in His love. Being intimate only with a pleasure and the person we use is not really intimacy. Only in God's love can we have real intimacy >

"But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him." (1 Corinthians 6:17)
 
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ken777

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I'm a gay man and can honestly tell you that I never had a choice about the matter. I've known since puberty that I was different. It's very easy to understand what it's like to be gay: I am no more able to feel an attraction to the opposite sex than you are to the same sex. That's all there is to it.

I grew up in a conservative city and for years was terrified that someone, especially my family, would find out about my orientation (note that I say "orientation", not "lifestyle"). Eventually, events in my life led me to New York City where I met and befriended other gay people. I eventually came to accept my orientation as a gift from God, but I had wasted over half a lifetime getting there. I no longer have any desire to be anything other than what God made me.

There is no reason to fear gay marriage. No one is going to force you to attend one. Why would you be bothered if two people who love each other want to get married and share their lives with the same rights and responsibilities as any other citizen. Do you want to ban them from seeing their dying partner in a hospital because of their orientation? It still happens. Do you want to ban them from holding jobs, finding shelter, or shopping in certain stores, as we once did with blacks. It all still happens.

Is that really what God wants?

The Bible is filled with verses of human acts for which a sinner shall be stoned to death. If you want a list of them, see: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Stoning. Could you ever even imagine doing so? Are you not outraged as a Christian when you see people thrown off tall buildings in the Middle East solely because of their orientation? Those who survive the fall are then stoned to death.

Is that really what God wants?

If you agree that all of the verses encouraging stoning should be followed, then I suppose you can include killing me among them. But remember, even if you don't believe it's an orientation/gift from God, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I find that a much more humane answer to the violence advocated by the Old Testament.

As for gay marriage, our government is founded on a principle of the separation of church and state. Perhaps you don't agree with that. However, if you do, then the government has no business telling anyone whom they can and cannot marry. Their only role should be to issue a marriage license. I can then go to my church to get married, and you can go to yours. My sins are no more your business than yours are mine. I'll gladly let God sort it out.

If you want a life-altering experience that will give you true inner peace, work with homeless youth. But do so knowing that many of them have been discarded by their families solely for being gay. Don't try to convert them, because you can't. Just love them, as Jesus would have.

I think that's what God wants.

Norm

The way you are is a matter of nature and nurture. Homosexuals may well be born with a predisposition to be attracted to the same sex, but there are other factors as the twin studies show.

I could blame my bad temper on biology but that still does not excuse me in God's sight. We all have different battles to fight, and some are more difficult than others.

The same sex marriage decision by SCOTUS is a sad day for America and the world. The fact that it hinged on one vote shows this is not a clear cut matter at all and there was significant dissent on the issue.

This will affect everyone. Christian institutions, including churches, will be forced to compromise their beliefs or lose funding. Christian business owners will be forced to cater to same sex weddings or be prosecuted in even greater numbers than they are now. My grandchildren will be taught a new vocabulary in school - words like wedding, marriage, husband, wife, etc will no longer mean the same.

The Bible speaks of a return to the "days of Lot" when same sex acts were condoned by society. We are there!

.
 
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Winepress777

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I don't support "gender-neutral" marriage, because the Bible clearly says that marriage is a holy constitution between a man and a woman. Then, when I'm under pressure by reading texts about how the Bible is wrong and listen to people complaining to me about how homosexuals should have the right to marriage, I get anxiety. I have nothing against homosexuals, referring to the Golden Rule and the Great Commandment, but I just can't accept them getting married...

I don't understand why I feel so much pressure in my heart about this.
Possibly you may have read the story of Lot and the destruction of the city of Sodom because of the homosexual infestation?
 
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ken777

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The context was whether clergy who feel that gay marriage is a sin would have to perform those marriages even if it goes against their religious beliefs. It goes beyond that even. Justice Alito brought up the point this last week regarding Christian schools and universities losing their tax exempt status if they opposed same sex marriage, and the response was "It's going to be an issue." Apparently in Bob Jones University vs. The United States (you can Google that), it was ruled that "the religion clauses of the First Amendment did not prohibit the IRS from revoking the tax exempt status of a religious university whose practices are contrary to a compelling government public policy."

So, this current argument in front of the supreme court goes far beyond just whether 2 men or 2 women can marry one another. It is opening a whole can of worms.
My anxiety is for those who face the possibility of prosecution if they do not cater for same sex weddings. Christian businesses and church schools are high on the hit list for gay activists.

The SCOTUS decision depended on just one vote because of the 4 pro gay liberal judges whose vote was never in doubt.

Justice Anthony Kennedy, writing on behalf of the court, said the hope of gay people intending to marry "is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization's oldest institutions". How on earth does ss marriage prevent a person from living in loneliness. And because marriage is one of civilization's oldest (and most universal) institutions it should remain as it is.

.
 
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ken777

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Possibly you may have read the story of Lot and the destruction of the city of Sodom because of the homosexual infestation?
I think it probably went even further than that because the story suggests that such behavior was socially acceptable. The world is rushing headlong towards judgment day.

.
 
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VegasGeorge

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Perhaps you feel pressure in your heart on this issue because we are talking about two essentially different things. To we Christians, "marriage" is a sacred union between one man and one woman ordained and blessed by God. But, "marriage" is also a civil contract authorized and enforced by the law. Your feelings are undoubtedly effected by the notion that even though same sex "marriage" is contrary to scripture and offensive to God, it seems equitable and right to allow partners within a homosexual union equal rights and benefits to those allowed spouses in traditional marriages under our civil law. At least, that's how I feel. The problem stems from government being in the marriage business in the first place. When our government was founded, God was its silent partner. Now, that partnership has been dissolved, and our government could only be described as an atheist institution. But yet it still licenses, regulates, and enforces marriages. From its standpoint, they are Godless marriages. We Christians may recognize God in our marriages, but our government does not. That's why the Bible, and thousands of years of tradition, meant nothing to those Supreme Court Justices deciding on same sex marriage.
 
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estevancarlos

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I don't support "gender-neutral" marriage, because the Bible clearly says that marriage is a holy constitution between a man and a woman. Then, when I'm under pressure by reading texts about how the Bible is wrong and listen to people complaining to me about how homosexuals should have the right to marriage, I get anxiety. I have nothing against homosexuals, referring to the Golden Rule and the Great Commandment, but I just can't accept them getting married...

I don't understand why I feel so much pressure in my heart about this.

You might feel something called "cognitive dissonance"?

"Cognitive dissonance refers to a situation involving conflicting attitudes, beliefs or behaviors. This produces a feeling of discomfort leading to an alteration in one of the attitudes, beliefs or behaviors to reduce the discomfort and restore balance etc. For example, when people smoke (behavior) and they know that smoking causes cancer (cognition)."

You state that you have nothing against homosexuals and you are willingly reading texts about how the Bible is wrong. Maybe you are having a difficult time because you feel empathy for homosexuals (behaviour) but are trying to believe in a particular interpretation of the bible (cognition)? Perhaps the combination of these two things is causing anxiety.

The question you should ask yourself is, what is more important? Empathy or following a specific interpretation of the Bible?
 
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VegasGeorge

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I'm a gay man and can honestly tell you that I never had a choice about the matter.

Actually, you do. Even if I were to accept the premise that you never had a choice about your sexual orientation, that still leaves you with a choice today. You can choose not to have homosexual sex. Unless you're suffering from OCD or some such psychological disorder which compels you to have homosexual sex, you can abstain. If you chose not to abstain, then you are simply continuing to sin. It is your choice, and in the Christian view, you will have to answer for it come judgment day.

You're not being singled out here. We are all sinners. And, I don't think of your sin as any worse or different than my own. But when it comes to my attention that something I'm doing is sinful, I try mightily to avoid doing it again.
 
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