I haven't been an active member on here for a very long time and I've been debating about doing this for quite a while. Finally decided to just do it.
First a little backstory:
My wife and I have been major problems the last three years or so (not just with our marriage). We ended up in some family counselling for a while, and therapy separately. It seemed like things were improving finally last summer. Totally out of the blue one day, she asks me for permission to explore her "bisexual attractions". I said I didn't think that would be a good idea. About a month later, she comes to me and admits that she cheated on me with another woman. I forgave her and suggested that maybe we should get back to counselling together. She dragged her feet on it, got more and more distant, eventually spent as much time as she could away from home (...again), and continued to cheat on me. Finally, when she was home one afternoon, not long after I got up (I was working an overnight shift at the time), she starts an argument with me, it escalated, and she kicked me out. I was forced to leave town and leave my job behind because I had no friends in town, no way to afford an apartment or a hotel, no where to go. About a month after that, she called me to say she was going to send the kids to live with me because she and her parents were having too much trouble with them.
Fast forward to now. I've been doing my best to keep things civil, but I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. My parents, friends, the few people at church that I talk about it with have been greatly supportive, but most of them are getting frustrated with me now. Some of them are starting to question why I'm still depressed and "so negative about everything" and why I'm dragging my feet. But everytime I talk to my wife about getting a mediator, or filing, or (especially) the kids she quickly gets nasty and critical. And it gets much worse if I stand up for myself. Everytime we talk about what to do with the kids, she accuses me of trying to keep them from her or she accuses me of being abusive. I don't get it... The biggest thing that attracted me to her in the first place was how nice and genuinely caring she was.
Long story short, I've been taking care of my two kids while living in my parents basement, doing everything I can to find work, all the while dealing with all this betrayal and nastiness, trying to figure out just what the hell happened, and (it seems to me anyway) staring an inevitably horrible, nasty, drawn out divorce and custody battle. I've been praying and surrendering it all to God everytime I think about any of it, but it hasn't been helping much. None of my friends of family has ever been through anything like this, so most of the time their advice is "pray and be patient". I don't know what to do or where to turn anymore...
First a little backstory:
My wife and I have been major problems the last three years or so (not just with our marriage). We ended up in some family counselling for a while, and therapy separately. It seemed like things were improving finally last summer. Totally out of the blue one day, she asks me for permission to explore her "bisexual attractions". I said I didn't think that would be a good idea. About a month later, she comes to me and admits that she cheated on me with another woman. I forgave her and suggested that maybe we should get back to counselling together. She dragged her feet on it, got more and more distant, eventually spent as much time as she could away from home (...again), and continued to cheat on me. Finally, when she was home one afternoon, not long after I got up (I was working an overnight shift at the time), she starts an argument with me, it escalated, and she kicked me out. I was forced to leave town and leave my job behind because I had no friends in town, no way to afford an apartment or a hotel, no where to go. About a month after that, she called me to say she was going to send the kids to live with me because she and her parents were having too much trouble with them.
Fast forward to now. I've been doing my best to keep things civil, but I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. My parents, friends, the few people at church that I talk about it with have been greatly supportive, but most of them are getting frustrated with me now. Some of them are starting to question why I'm still depressed and "so negative about everything" and why I'm dragging my feet. But everytime I talk to my wife about getting a mediator, or filing, or (especially) the kids she quickly gets nasty and critical. And it gets much worse if I stand up for myself. Everytime we talk about what to do with the kids, she accuses me of trying to keep them from her or she accuses me of being abusive. I don't get it... The biggest thing that attracted me to her in the first place was how nice and genuinely caring she was.
Long story short, I've been taking care of my two kids while living in my parents basement, doing everything I can to find work, all the while dealing with all this betrayal and nastiness, trying to figure out just what the hell happened, and (it seems to me anyway) staring an inevitably horrible, nasty, drawn out divorce and custody battle. I've been praying and surrendering it all to God everytime I think about any of it, but it hasn't been helping much. None of my friends of family has ever been through anything like this, so most of the time their advice is "pray and be patient". I don't know what to do or where to turn anymore...
