im 22 years young. About last week I really had this feeling and I sat down and prayed and promised myself to get back on the correct path with God. Everyday since I've been reading and praying trying to talk to God. Before that, I've always felt like there is a demon or evil spirit in me. I asked why do I think negative thoughts? Why do I sin and sin and sin? Why is my mind formed to be so demonic and detrimental thinking? Through thinking all this, I still have kept my Christian background and just tell myself everyday God has my back. Now there's so much from my past that is coming back to me. Making my life stressful and personally it's hard. I had a point in my life where I told myself what if I am an omen and just a demon waiting to come out. But I know God is real and true. He has done so much for me and even brought me through the fires that I didn't even ask him too. This is a hard struggle and I feel I have no one to talk and confess to. I know what's wrong and everything revolves around that. I sit through small states of depression daily to ask myself why am I not a "good Christian?" There were times I've wanted to die because I felt as if I won't make it into Heaven anyways. I've started reading about keeping faith through hard times and to remember that God is with me[EDIT]. It's hard. I have no where to openly express how I feel other than here. The thoughts that run through my head, I feel as if only a demon can think this way. But I tell myself that the devil is just trying to break me. This is a fight Jesus has won for me already. How do I know if I've truly given myself to Jesus. In my adult and free-willed life I truly believe that I have confessed to the Lord and accepted him as my savior. But how do I know that it's true and just not this isn't a fake thing in my mind that I "think" I did? It's hard for me. It effects me with school, family, finances and most definitly my relationships. Anything to encourage or help me daily change my thinking of myself will help. Thank you to all.
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