WHY is pre marital sex a sin?

F

from scratch

Guest
Yeah but so can going to the local swimming pool on a hot day - and we don't ban that prior to marriage.

I guess I want the why's.
When one lives in a suppressed situation many things are sin or lead to sin much easier. Personally its been detrimental in my personal life as well as beneficial.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
F

from scratch

Guest
Are you asking me Why God made that a sin?
I dont know.
I know that he has our best interest in heart.
He created humans, he knows how we think/feel/act..
He didn't make this a sin just because he felt like it,
there is a reason behind it, that reason, Is one that God knows.
Im not mentally fit to understand each and every one of Gods ways.
He is far too divine for that.

I am wondering why you are asking this question, however, being a Married catholic?
God didn't make/create sin.
 
Upvote 0
F

from scratch

Guest
It is my assumption that a question such as this would come from someone who
wasn't married and Was struggling and wanted to see if it was really a sin..

Or someone who wanted to debate about why they dont think its a sin.

this isn't the case, she's a married woman and a catholic.
It just surprised me because If you're catholic, you believe thats a sin, correct? I was just curious as to why she would ask why its a sin.

I didn't mean to insult anyone.
Thank God I'm not a priest.
 
Upvote 0

katherine2001

Veteran
Jun 24, 2003
5,986
1,065
67
Billings, MT
Visit site
✟11,346.00
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Single
For those who believe that pre marital sex is a sin - can you please explain why?

I don't need verses claiming it is sinful - I want to know why it is sin. For example - is it sin because it harms someone in a very specific way? How is it inethical? Specifics required.

Have you asked your priest? He would be more qualified than us to answer it.
 
Upvote 0

katherine2001

Veteran
Jun 24, 2003
5,986
1,065
67
Billings, MT
Visit site
✟11,346.00
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Single
This might seem sarcastic, but Im not trying to be,
But if God says something is a sin, then its a sin, plain and simple.
I feel maybe, God prohibits some things in order to protect us...
Thats all ive Got.

:thumbsup:! That's all we need to know--why do we need the reasons why it is sinful?
 
Upvote 0

Erose

Newbie
Jul 2, 2010
9,008
1,470
✟67,771.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
For those who believe that pre marital sex is a sin - can you please explain why?

I don't need verses claiming it is sinful - I want to know why it is sin. For example - is it sin because it harms someone in a very specific way? How is it inethical? Specifics required.

As stated before, going and speaking to a priest about this is good advice. But I will put my 2 cents in.

The simplest answer I can think of is God calls us to be more than animals. We are called to rule our passions and not allow them to rule us.

Premarital sex is ALWAYS an act of lust. We may believe otherwise, because we LOVE our boyfriend or girlfriend; but if we truly loved them, we wouldn't do anything to put them at risk. Since Christians know that fornication is something that God hates; and sin puts us at risk of damnation, then obviously pleasure is more important than our friend's well being.

So premarital sex is always an act of selfishness.

Then you throw in the fruits of premarital sex, I.e. Abortion, STDs, children growing up without a full family, hedonism, homosexuality, men and women seen as sex objects instead of people, inappropriate contentography, rape, child abuse, and on ind on.
 
Upvote 0

Optimax

Senior Veteran
May 7, 2006
17,659
448
New Mexico
✟41,659.00
Faith
Word of Faith
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
For those who believe that pre marital sex is a sin - can you please explain why?

I don't need verses claiming it is sinful - I want to know why it is sin. For example - is it sin because it harms someone in a very specific way? How is it inethical? Specifics required.


First of all because God said so.

Rebellious people always want to argue with and "prove" God wrong.

They do so in order to do, with consensus of others of like rebellious minds, those things that are not godly.
 
Upvote 0

Hetta

I'll find my way home
Jun 21, 2012
16,925
4,875
the here and now
✟64,923.00
Country
France
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Married
Premarital sex is ALWAYS an act of lust. We may believe otherwise, because we LOVE our boyfriend or girlfriend; but if we truly loved them, we wouldn't do anything to put them at risk. Since Christians know that fornication is something that God hates; and sin puts us at risk of damnation, then obviously pleasure is more important than our friend's well being.
So isn't sex within marriage an act of lust? And sex outside of marriage is often also love, not just lust.

If a couple has sex one day before they marry, and then have sex on the day they marry, what happened in-between, other than a ceremony? Did they not love each other the day before they married? Do they not lust for each other on the wedding day? Or did their feelings do a full 180 degree change for some reason.

Then you throw in the fruits of premarital sex, I.e. Abortion, STDs, children growing up without a full family, hedonism, homosexuality, men and women seen as sex objects instead of people, inappropriate contentography, rape, child abuse, and on ind on.
Many of these things also happen within marriage.

And I don't think that homosexuality has anything to do with sex before marriage, so I'm confused about that link you made.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Sayre

Veteran
Sep 21, 2013
2,519
65
✟18,216.00
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Private
As stated before, going and speaking to a priest about this is good advice. But I will put my 2 cents in.

The simplest answer I can think of is God calls us to be more than animals. We are called to rule our passions and not allow them to rule us.

Premarital sex is ALWAYS an act of lust. We may believe otherwise, because we LOVE our boyfriend or girlfriend; but if we truly loved them, we wouldn't do anything to put them at risk. Since Christians know that fornication is something that God hates; and sin puts us at risk of damnation, then obviously pleasure is more important than our friend's well being.

So premarital sex is always an act of selfishness.

Then you throw in the fruits of premarital sex, I.e. Abortion, STDs, children growing up without a full family, hedonism, homosexuality, men and women seen as sex objects instead of people, inappropriate contentography, rape, child abuse, and on ind on.

Your argument is effectively:

We know X is sin, because God hates sin, and because X is sin, X is sin.
 
Upvote 0

Erose

Newbie
Jul 2, 2010
9,008
1,470
✟67,771.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
So isn't sex within marriage an act of lust? And sex outside of marriage is often also love, not just lust.

If a couple has sex one day before they marry, and then have sex on the day they marry, what happened in-between, other than a ceremony? Did they not love each other the day before they married? Do they not lust for each other on the wedding day? Or did their feelings do a full 180 degree change for some reason.

Many of these things also happen within marriage.

And I don't think that homosexuality has anything to do with sex before marriage, so I'm confused about that link you made.
When my wife and I make love, I know that at that time I do not put her soul at risk of damnation. If we weren't married then I not only put my own soul at risk, but hers as well. Thus I choose pleasure over mine and her well being. Thus my pleasures rule me to the point, that I no longer care for my or her well being. How then is this love?

God has provided one environment where sex may be participated in, where self destructive pleasure is not the ruling factor, and that is marriage. Outside that institution it is always self destructive.
 
Upvote 0

Erose

Newbie
Jul 2, 2010
9,008
1,470
✟67,771.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
Your argument is effectively:

We know X is sin, because God hates sin, and because X is sin, X is sin.

We also know that all sex outside of marriage is a selfish act of pleasure, that is always self destructive. No good comes from it, except a few minutes of pleasure.
 
Upvote 0

Sayre

Veteran
Sep 21, 2013
2,519
65
✟18,216.00
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Private
When my wife and I make love, I know that at that time I do not put her soul at risk of damnation. If we weren't married then I not only put my own soul at risk, but hers as well. Thus I choose pleasure over mine and her well being. Thus my pleasures rule me to the point, that I no longer care for my or her well being. How then is this love?

God has provided one environment where sex may be participated in, where self destructive pleasure is not the ruling factor, and that is marriage. Outside that institution it is always self destructive.

It is circular reasoning. The only reason her soul is at risk of damnation prior to marriage is because you assume it is a sin prior to marriage. You can't prove it is a sin by assuming it is a sin.

I'm after some clues about why it is sin.
 
Upvote 0

tall73

Sophia7's husband
Supporter
Sep 23, 2005
31,979
5,844
Visit site
✟868,616.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
The reason is similar to the reason that divorce was problematic. The two become one flesh.

Gen 2:23 Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."
Gen 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.




Co 6:15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!
1Co 6:16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh."
1Co 6:17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
1Co 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
1Co 6:19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
1Co 6:20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.




There is meant to be a bond with your spouse that you do not have with everyone else. This one flesh experience should not be extended to everyone who turns you on. Don't become one flesh with a prostitute but with your spouse.

There is a bond created when your spouse is the one who gives you pleasure, the one who makes procreation possible, the one who meets your needs, etc. Your spouse is not just the last in a long line of folks who did this. This is of God and He doesn't want you to have that with others.

Moreover, how many marriages have been tainted by "comparisons" so to speak. If you only have sex with your spouse, you don't compare to anything but her, and that is largely a good thing.

In addition, sex is an act which can lead to children. Children are better cared for in the family that God intended. Even preventative means are not 100 percent effective in preventing children by this act.

God designed your spouse to meet your natural needs for sex.

Co 7:2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
1Co 7:3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
1Co 7:4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
1Co 7:5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


He also enables some to do without sex, according to the Scriptures. If you are called to that, fine. But otherwise taking a spouse is the prescribed solution to your sexual drive, to being ready to raise any children from the sexual act, and to have a bond with your spouse, the one flesh relationship.


Paul advises the unmarried to marry if they burn with passion:

Co 7:8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.
1Co 7:9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.


It is God's design that your spouse meet those needs. And statistically married people have sex more often than single people, so perhaps God knew what he was doing.

More sex, and after the sex someone who cares about you and stands by you and helps you through difficult times, and shares life together. Much better than serial one night stands and occasional visits to the prostitute.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Hetta

I'll find my way home
Jun 21, 2012
16,925
4,875
the here and now
✟64,923.00
Country
France
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Married
When my wife and I make love, I know that at that time I do not put her soul at risk of damnation. If we weren't married then I not only put my own soul at risk, but hers as well. Thus I choose pleasure over mine and her well being. Thus my pleasures rule me to the point, that I no longer care for my or her well being. How then is this love?

God has provided one environment where sex may be participated in, where self destructive pleasure is not the ruling factor, and that is marriage. Outside that institution it is always self destructive.

Please provide scripture that shows that pre-marital sex "puts the soul at risk of damnation."
 
Upvote 0

Hetta

I'll find my way home
Jun 21, 2012
16,925
4,875
the here and now
✟64,923.00
Country
France
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Married
More sex, and after the sex someone who cares about you and stands by you and helps you through difficult times, and shares life together. Much better than a one night stand.
But nobody is talking about one night stands. Some people are in a long lived relationship where they have sex, but chose not to marry. That's not a one night stand. Those people are standing by each other.
 
Upvote 0

Hetta

I'll find my way home
Jun 21, 2012
16,925
4,875
the here and now
✟64,923.00
Country
France
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Married
It is circular reasoning. The only reason her soul is at risk of damnation prior to marriage is because you assume it is a sin prior to marriage. You can't prove it is a sin by assuming it is a sin.

I'm after some clues about why it is sin.

^^ yes, this. Circular reasoning.
 
Upvote 0

Hetta

I'll find my way home
Jun 21, 2012
16,925
4,875
the here and now
✟64,923.00
Country
France
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Married
We also know that all sex outside of marriage is a selfish act of pleasure, that is always self destructive. No good comes from it, except a few minutes of pleasure.

More than a few minutes, one hopes.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

tall73

Sophia7's husband
Supporter
Sep 23, 2005
31,979
5,844
Visit site
✟868,616.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
God intends your wife to be the source of intoxicating love throughout life. There is a bond there that should not be shared with strangers. This text is in the context of extra-marital affairs. However, the underlying principles still hold true.

Pro 5:15 Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.
Pro 5:16 Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets?
Pro 5:17 Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you.
Pro 5:18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
Pro 5:19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.
 
Upvote 0