Hi Everyone- I really need some advice. My husband has been battling with inappropriate content for years, ever since we dated. Had I known at the time what a strong hold inappropriate content has on someone I would have never chosen to get married. I have been married for 8.5 years and together over 10. This is my second marriage.
The last time that I caught my husband watching inappropriate content was on his cell phone and he was looking at dating sites as well. I have never caught him on a dating site(meaning his profile), but I hate the fact that I to "watch" over him like a 2 year old is ridiculous . I asked him to seek biblical counseling(or else I would divorce him) and he did go(this after about 20+ times of finding inappropriate content on the computer and phone)....VERY RELUCTANTLY. He got to the point every Thursday when his Celebrate Recovery was that he would be irritable and blame me that he "has" to go. He would also say that he was not as bad as the other guys always comparing himself to them saying, "I'm not half as bad as them. I have never hired a prostitute". I wasn't sure whether to give him an atta boy or a gold star after that comment. It got to the point every Thursday we would argue so much about the class that in the end it was easier to go back into our old rut and have him not go. I couldn't stand the complaining and constant bickering to get him to go.
The final straw was when I went on vacation to visit my family. His work would not give him the time off so I went by myself. When I got back his phone had most of the history gone except for the last two days which were filled with him looking at dating profile and then also a live web cam. When I questioned him about it he said that they weren't even good looking anyway so why should it matter.
Yesterday, I check his phone and he went to lunch twice with his co-worker. I understand he works in a predominately women ran industry (nursing) and I do know that often times he sits with women in the cafeteria which doesn't bother me. He was on jury duty(not at work, no cafeteria) and saw her so they decided to go to lunch. The texts were innocent in nature, but on the heals of less then a week of him checking out dating websites and live web cams his lack of judgment and insensitivity to my feelings really makes me feel like he could care less if he hurts me.
My heart is hardening towards him and I am not letting him in as much. I told him the only reason why I do not get a divorce from him now is not due to my undying and eternal love for him, it's because I am completely embarrassed to be divorced twice.
So my question is.....do I give him another chance and what should be my boundaries if I do?
The last time that I caught my husband watching inappropriate content was on his cell phone and he was looking at dating sites as well. I have never caught him on a dating site(meaning his profile), but I hate the fact that I to "watch" over him like a 2 year old is ridiculous . I asked him to seek biblical counseling(or else I would divorce him) and he did go(this after about 20+ times of finding inappropriate content on the computer and phone)....VERY RELUCTANTLY. He got to the point every Thursday when his Celebrate Recovery was that he would be irritable and blame me that he "has" to go. He would also say that he was not as bad as the other guys always comparing himself to them saying, "I'm not half as bad as them. I have never hired a prostitute". I wasn't sure whether to give him an atta boy or a gold star after that comment. It got to the point every Thursday we would argue so much about the class that in the end it was easier to go back into our old rut and have him not go. I couldn't stand the complaining and constant bickering to get him to go.
The final straw was when I went on vacation to visit my family. His work would not give him the time off so I went by myself. When I got back his phone had most of the history gone except for the last two days which were filled with him looking at dating profile and then also a live web cam. When I questioned him about it he said that they weren't even good looking anyway so why should it matter.
Yesterday, I check his phone and he went to lunch twice with his co-worker. I understand he works in a predominately women ran industry (nursing) and I do know that often times he sits with women in the cafeteria which doesn't bother me. He was on jury duty(not at work, no cafeteria) and saw her so they decided to go to lunch. The texts were innocent in nature, but on the heals of less then a week of him checking out dating websites and live web cams his lack of judgment and insensitivity to my feelings really makes me feel like he could care less if he hurts me.
My heart is hardening towards him and I am not letting him in as much. I told him the only reason why I do not get a divorce from him now is not due to my undying and eternal love for him, it's because I am completely embarrassed to be divorced twice.
So my question is.....do I give him another chance and what should be my boundaries if I do?
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