Work IS evil. My friendliness was shrugged off in a misunderstanding.

Oct 15, 2011
430
4
✟8,086.00
Faith
Christian
My advice to you is to limit the way you joke around. Many people these days take things too seriously, and especially at work, there has to be a limit.

You may find it uncomfortable or even strange, but you have to adhere to the norms of work-place. Less jokes.

You don;'t have to put smilies in all of your emails, some people even take smilies the wrong way.

Best to remain professional, and joke a little when need be, not all the time and not with everyone.

always remember some people are watching you, even though you dont know they are. Some are even pro'lly reading the internal mails and emails when you dont think they are.

You are there to work, and let it remain so. It looks like you are having problems with some thick people there and also seeing your other posts, that would be the best advice I can give you.

Be more serious at work, less jokes. Bring professionalism into it more and let others see that in you. Leave the other things for outside of work.

Let your emails be strictly 'work' stuffs, no smilies if possible except someone you are very very friendly with.

You have to redeem yourself back in front of those who are probably talking behind your back about you. Dont give anyone the satisfaction of seeing you leave/or be fired just like that.

FOCUS ON WORK ONLY when you are at work

One of the things that makes my current job enjoyable is that most of us are truly friends, at least in my team, and the company environment is informal.

Why pose a limit on being myself just because some people take things too seriously?

Another way to put the question is: why should I sacrifice myself just to satisfy the grumpiness of another person?
 
Upvote 0
Oct 15, 2011
430
4
✟8,086.00
Faith
Christian
[...] It was never about who was right, it was about the fact that you did something to irritate your co-worker.
I obviously didn't know that then and there.

Still, the question now is whether I should feel guilty about that and/or even whether I should limit my personal freedom to be who I am just because someone got irritated because I tried to be FRIENDLY with them!?

Bear what happens at the job gracefully and without complaining. Jesus didn't complain when He was being sent to His death, so neither should you complain to your coworkers about situations such as these.

The difference between Jesus time and todays' time is that complaints and grievances usually serve a purpose, at least in theory, to solve internal issues, to pinpoint a liable person and take action against them.

Why else does something such as the LEGAL SYSTEM exist?
 
Upvote 0

turkle

Blessed
Jan 25, 2004
907
629
✟224,007.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Still, the question now is whether I should feel guilty about that and/or even whether I should limit my personal freedom to be who I am just because someone got irritated because I tried to be FRIENDLY with them!?

How is insisting that you're right and beating it to death FRIENDLY? You don't seem to understand how annoying it is, though several people in this thread, as well as your own friends, have pointed it out to you. And then, when you don't like her response, you consider taking it to the CEO. This is not "friendly".

If you want to have good relationships, you really need to think about when to let go.
 
Upvote 0
Oct 15, 2011
430
4
✟8,086.00
Faith
Christian
How is insisting that you're right and beating it to death FRIENDLY? You don't seem to understand how annoying it is, though several people in this thread, as well as your own friends, have pointed it out to you. And then, when you don't like her response, you consider taking it to the CEO. This is not "friendly".

If you want to have good relationships, you really need to think about when to let go.

I was LITERALLY trying to be friendly. THAT WAS MY INTENTION. I had no other feelings in my heart than trying to say something nice and continue the discussion to clarify any misunderstandings!!!!!

But her final reaction put me on the defensive and made me worry about what sort of people I am working with...

But the main reason I'd take it to the CEO is simply to show what is happening before she could start spreading negative gossip about me - just because I tried to be FRIENDLY!
 
Upvote 0

thesunisout

growing in grace
Supporter
Mar 24, 2011
4,761
1,399
He lifts me up
✟159,601.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I obviously didn't know that then and there.

Still, the question now is whether I should feel guilty about that and/or even whether I should limit my personal freedom to be who I am just because someone got irritated because I tried to be FRIENDLY with them!?

The question is, why don't you let it go? You're still offended, when you need to forgive and forget and move on. Ask God for the wisdom to understand when you are crossing social boundaries.

The difference between Jesus time and todays' time is that complaints and grievances usually serve a purpose, at least in theory, to solve internal issues, to pinpoint a liable person and take action against them.

Why else does something such as the LEGAL SYSTEM exist?

Philippians 2:14

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe

The principle we are taught in scripture is to bear our grievances, not to complain or make a big deal about them, and to give only love in return. He told us when someone slaps us to turn the other cheek. That is what Jesus did, and that is what we should do too.
 
Upvote 0

turkle

Blessed
Jan 25, 2004
907
629
✟224,007.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I was LITERALLY trying to be friendly. THAT WAS MY INTENTION. I had no other feelings in my heart than trying to say something nice and continue the discussion to clarify any misunderstandings!!!!!

But her final reaction put me on the defensive and made me worry about what sort of people I am working with...

But the main reason I'd take it to the CEO is simply to show what is happening before she could start spreading negative gossip about me - just because I tried to be FRIENDLY!
I can see that despite many people telling you why that was inappropriate, you don't get it. I'm not sure if that's because you refuse to listen, or you aren't capable of it. I am concerned about you, because you have posted about similar situation many times, and refuse to listen to what people tell you. That is certainly your prerogative, but the result will be that these situations will continue to repeat. I wish you well. I really do.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

AvgJoe

Member since 2005
Supporter
Feb 5, 2005
2,748
1,099
Texas
✟332,516.00
Country
United States
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Private
I am a junior manager in my team and have an important role in the training, development and coordination aspects of my direct team.

Within my team, we are all good friends and we often plan things outside work as well, from trips out of town to museum or theater visits. And the overall company culture is very informal.

A more senior employee from a different team (we have hung out with her as well, though less often) wrote me an e-mail asking for information which one of my newest recruits knew about.
Now, this senior employee and my new recruit have something very noticeable in common, e.g. like being the only two in the company from a certain town (I am slightly changing the true story for privacy reasons, but it should have the same message).

I replied to both in CC, mentioning, in a completely neutral and intention-less manner "...for more information you can from now on rely on your fellow townswoman."

The senior employee replied that all was fine, and at the end of the her e-mail she wrote a P.S.: "You don't say fellow townswoman. That's wrong English. You say fellow citizen."

I double-checked an online dictionary, and replied to her a quoted a passage with the definition for "townswoman", showing that it was not wrong English.

Again, she replied:"Townswoman is incorrect English."

I thought she didn't rely on my source, or that she didn't read properly, so I checked another dictionary and sent her that definition as well.
I always put nice smileys :) in my messages.

The senior employee replied:"Is this some sort of joke? I don't find this funny, and have other things to worry about."

My new recruit seemed a bit nervous at that point. And I was upset, too, because I didn't even fully grasp what was going on.
I later explained the story to other colleagues to ask for advice and they all blamed me for "provoking" her, for trying to be a "know-it-all" and for "not stopping".

I am incredibly upset and feel wronged by this situation, especially because I truly had only innocent intentions, and hadn't even THOUGHT about provocation or showing knowledge. I REALLY REALLY REALLY still cannot understand what was wrong about what I did!

The only explanation I have: work makes people misunderstand such tiny things and drives them crazy.

Yet, I currently feel very alone as I cannot force myself to admit a fault that I don't even fully understand why it is mine.

If the situation was reversed, would you like it if the senior employee treated you the way you are treating her? Read Luke 6:31 for some great advice.
 
Upvote 0