Religious people: Did you feel any guilt when you lost your virginity?

[selfinflikted]

What if you wait until after you're married to start driving, like god intended? Pretty sure that'd be more of a safe bet.

 

[Wiccan_Child]

Though I don't disagree with your overall point, your presentation of the facts is a little off.

Only one STD is both incurable AND fatal, and that is HIV,

Technically, HIV is no more fatal than any other disease. It can (but doesn't always) cause AIDS, which allows other diseases to kill you. If this indirect fatality makes HIV fatal, then so are quite a few other STDs that indirectly cause death.

which can be prevented with proper condom use or requiring partners to be tested before having sex.

Or require parters be tested? Testing partners is no substitute for a condom, and unless you quarentine them for the full incubation period of the virus (about three months, I believe), there's no guarantee they won't pick it up in the few months between tests.

There are a little under 50,000 new cases of HIV every year, a scant .2% of the 19 million infections contracted yearly, and representing .1% of the American population of apprx. 317 million people. (That's one tenth of one percent, not one whole percent, in case you're a little math rusty.)

All other STDs either cause discomfort that can be alleviated with medicine, or can be cured outright.

The same is true for HIV - contracting the disease is no longer the life-crippling, dead-within-the-decade problem it used to be. It's still a very serious problem, but in the West, at least, drugs can maintain a HIV+ person's lifespan to normality (that is, they're no longer likely to prematurely die, at least not of HIV), and deleterious symptoms are now manageable.

Again, it's still very serious, and I don't want to sound like I'm diminishing that. But the fact remains that the sympotoms of HIV are manageable, contrary to your claim.

According to the CDC, in 2008 the deaths caused by HIV were 4 per 100,000 people, or about 12,000 in the whole country. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, in 2008 there were 37,261 deaths by car crashes.

So, if we're going to base our morality on unintended consequences, why isn't anyone else declaring driving automobiles to be immoral? Clearly the death and pain caused to tens of thousands of families yearly is a sign from god that we were never mean to move faster than we can run!

I couldn't agree more However, the homophobic hate-mongers would have a hard time called cars a 'gay' disease.

 

[Jade Margery]

Or require parters be tested? Testing partners is no substitute for a condom, and unless you quarentine them for the full incubation period of the virus (about three months, I believe), there's no guarantee they won't pick it up in the few months between tests.

True, I should have put 'and' in there. It's safest to do both.

Again, it's still very serious, and I don't want to sound like I'm diminishing that. But the fact remains that the sympotoms of HIV are manageable, contrary to your claim.

Technically, I never claimed it was unmanageable, just incurable. I suppose it would have been clearer to say 'All other STDs ONLY cause discomfort etc. etc.' but I feel like you're splitting hairs here. On the other hand, it only supports my argument, so split away. ;3

 

[Wiccan_Child]

True, I should have put 'and' in there. It's safest to do both.

Agreed

Technically, I never claimed it was unmanageable, just incurable.

You said that other STDs are either curable, or have discomfort which can be alleviated, the implication being that HIV fits into neither category, when in fact it fits in the latter.

I suppose it would have been clearer to say 'All other STDs ONLY cause discomfort etc. etc.' but I feel like you're splitting hairs here. On the other hand, it only supports my argument, so split away. ;3

Hair splitting is a national pastime in the UK

 

[jminnesota]

like i have said sex is beautiful when your married. i waited and so to me waiting was wonderful and the love making felt great and i felt no shame or embarasment or regret at all. talking to friends of mine who have had sex before married lot of them had mixed some where ok some where not some broke up etc. to me sex is beautiful when your married

 

[IanCG]

like i have said sex is beautiful when your married. i waited and so to me waiting was wonderful and the love making felt great and i felt no shame or embarasment or regret at all. talking to friends of mine who have had sex before married lot of them had mixed some where ok some where not some broke up etc. to me sex is beautiful when your married

To me, sex was beautiful before and after I was married.

 

[jminnesota]

well i never had sex before i was married so cant say but i know wedding night it was beautiful and it keeps getting better everytime we made love.

 

[JCFantasy23]

STD Trends in the United States, 2010

Assuming you trust the Centers for Disease Control, which I assume will come under attack directly as a right wing, conservative Christian organization for having such inflammatory information on its website.

All.
100%.
Preventable.

Sex is one of the most regulated activities in human history, all across the globe. There are very good reasons to take sex very seriously. For whatever reason, to most in our culture, it's all just a big joke.

Our attitude towards it in modern times ranks among some of the most disgusting and self destructive attitudes towards sex ever.

How are STDs 100% preventable? If society acted as a whole with the same mindset, sure, but since everyone acts differently, then it can't be 100% preventable.

I agree promiscuous sex with multiple partners can contribute to a higher incidence of STDs, but marriage is not the solution to ending STDs either. The only two people I've known with HIV were married.

 

[Gracchus]

Of course there may be needle sticks or contaminated blood, but we could screen everyone and strictly quarantine those found to be infected. We could wipe out HIV and other STD's. But people would rather not take the required measures.

Like many social ills, we would rather tolerate the consequences than endure the prevention.

 

[Gadarene]

Of course there may be needle sticks or contaminated blood, but we could screen everyone and strictly quarantine those found to be infected. We could wipe out HIV and other STD's. But people would rather not take the required measures.

Like many social ills, we would rather tolerate the consequences than endure the prevention.

People tolerate limited quarantine. Given that AIDS is a chronic disease (at least currently), people aren't happy with the idea of quarantining those with a minimally infectious disease for life. I think that's some to be thankful for.

 

[Shane Roach]

Only one STD is both incurable AND fatal, and that is HIV, which can be prevented with proper condom use or requiring partners to be tested before having sex. There are a little under 50,000 new cases of HIV every year, a scant .2% of the 19 million infections contracted yearly, and representing .1% of the American population of apprx. 317 million people. (That's one tenth of one percent, not one whole percent, in case you're a little math rusty.)

All other STDs either cause discomfort that can be alleviated with medicine, or can be cured outright.

According to the CDC, in 2008 the deaths caused by HIV were 4 per 100,000 people, or about 12,000 in the whole country. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, in 2008 there were 37,261 deaths by car crashes.

So, if we're going to base our morality on unintended consequences, why isn't anyone else declaring driving automobiles to be immoral? Clearly the death and pain caused to tens of thousands of families yearly is a sign from god that we were never mean to move faster than we can run!

Our attitude towards it in modern times ranks among some of the most disgusting and self destructive attitudes towards transportation ever.

Your reading of the situation is myopic at best - At worst, purposefully misleading. Gonorrhea is becoming more and more resistant to treatment. The nature of some STD's is to lay undetected, causing further harm until treated.

The comparison to driving is insipid. Again, sex is of the most regulated behaviors in human history. For whatever reason, there are no widespread rules against traveling from place to place quickly and efficiently.

You figure it out. I have no patience for this nonsense anymore.

 

[Jade Margery]

It's not that hard to figure out. In the past, paternalistic societies concentrated on regulating sex because it was the only way to be sure that the children you were raising were actually yours. Everyone knows who a baby's mother is, but there's no way to tell who the father is. So what do you do? Stone women who aren't virgins when you marry them, only be allowed to have sex after you get married and only with the person you married (if you were a woman and not a prostitute). Men did not have to be virgins or get stoned. Men could have sex before marriage. Men in the Bible could have multiple wives and harems of concubines, but women never had more than one husband. Pretty much all the rules about sex from ancient times make sense when you realize that it was men trying to make sure their kids were actually theirs.

Nowadays we have paternity tests and birth control. The old rules need no longer apply, but people who have let practical laws of the past become traditional rules of moral behavior for the present without any consideration for changing circumstances still cling to the anti-sex rhetoric of ancient desert tribes.

 

[ashish10]

Loosing virginity before marriage actually makes one feel guilty of themselves. Different cultures,societies or even geographies see it differently.
Thank God abiding in-his grace have not lost IT, will wait till get married. :]

 

[selfinflikted]

Loosing virginity before marriage actually makes one feel guilty of themselves.

Only if you're one of those people who have hangups about sex and think that virginity is some sort of "gift" or virtue.

 

[jminnesota]

if you really love eachother you can wait til you marry before you have sex with eachother.

 

[Gadarene]

if you really love eachother you can wait til you marry before you have sex with eachother.

If you really love each other, having sex before marriage doesn't induce guilt

 

[selfinflikted]

if you really love eachother you can wait til you marry before you have sex with eachother.

Or if you don't believe a god could send you to hell for eternal punishment for pre-marital sex, you'd probably be ok.

 

[Larry Mondello]

Originally Posted by jminnesota

if you really love eachother you can wait til you marry before you have sex with eachother.
​

If you really love each other, having sex before marriage doesn't induce guilt

Yes, it can, Gad.

When me and my HS GF gave our virginities to each other @17-18, we came under a lot of guilt.
And I wasn't even a Christian at the time, perhaps a nominal Christian rarely going to church though I came from a Christian background in one of the major mainstream denominations.
She was Catholic.

Believe me, we clearly felt a ton of guilt. That was one reason I suggested we stop, though we only did it maybe 3-4X.
She didn't object to my request to stop and may have felt a little relieved.

This is one reason I created this thread, to see how people dealt with the guilt.

Am not some oddball.
If I, who wasn't really a Christian at the time, felt some guilt, know others did too.

 

[selfinflikted]

For every "I had guilt feelings after losing my virginity" story, I can find you two that say "Man, my first time was GREAT!"

 

[Gadarene]

Yes, it can, Gad.

The point was there is are exceptions to both statements, and speaking in generalities isn't a good idea.