I have been with my husband for about 14 years. We have been married for 11 years. I remember loving him so much I could not stand being apart from him. But as we got married and he could not leave his games alone to spend time with me I grew resentful within six months. We were married in January and I got pregnant in April. Which only made me more emotional. We had more disagreements as I felt ignored and he probably felt like I was trying to control him. We had our first physical fight around this time. I was so angry and hurt I told him that "So help me G*D" something er other he better do this or that. And he was furious that I used the Lord's name in vain, and probably angry from me nagging because I wanted him to come to bed with me... he pushed me up against the wall and eventually was pinning me to our bed. That's the worst it got that time. But it set the tone of our marriage. This is the cycle we run. He retreats to his games or hobby, I feel ignored and start nagging, he ignores me further and eventually blows up calling me names and blaming me for his gaming. He later feels bad, apologizes and we *make up* as it were. He would be encouraged and say he was happy things were getting better. Then the dance begins again. Just lastnight while I was at work, my computer monitor at home died. I called him this morning while he was at work saying (in a good tone) "You wanted a new monitor!" Thinking he might want to meet for lunch at Costco to look for another one. He does want a new one. He was upset at me and told me it is my fault the monitor died. If I had just listened to him and turned it off when it was not being used... and so on. I have been turning it off, a lot. I am not the only one who uses the computer and can't control when it is on all the time. After he got in the last word, he hung up on me only to text me outlining his reasoning for why it was my fault and gave me two reasons. And ended the text with "Conclusion: You're stupid". I have been called names and I heal and move on, the scars remain and there definately is a wall I guard myself with. It just kills me to be MARRIED, stuck for life with a person who thinks of me as stupid or the other things he calls me. I am not guiltless in this story, I know that. I know I have made mistakes I would go back and undo. My question is where do I go from here?