Why is virginity mocked?

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Jase

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On this topic, is there a minimum age requirement to lose one's virginity? Do we view anyone who has had sex after puberty to no longer be a virgin? What about before puberty?

Kids seem to be getting younger and younger and experimenting, to the point that elementary-middle school kids are even experimenting with each other. Not sure they have the mental development for it to be classified as losing their virginity, but just curious with the new societal trend among kids.
 
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hollyda

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This quote is taken from a dating site I just googled about the subject and a woman's response to male virgins. Most of the opinions were somewhat similar from the other women.

"It's to be expected of a guy your age, maybe even a little younger. But if he were my age and still a virgin? I'd not only pitty him, I'd cry for him! Sorry I'll pass"

And the opposite view, from men about women being a virgin on Plenty of Fish dating site:

"I wouldn't be enthusiastic about it.

Sex is a tense enough subject between men and women without throwing virginity into the mix. You never know whether she'll like it, or whether you're compatible. Unless I felt very strongly about the girl--strongly enough to put a lot of extra effort, time patience and understanding--I'd have to pass."




And while these are only 2 quotes, reading through these forums, it seems to be the general consensus that if you don't have experience by your mid-20s, it's often a deal breaker unless you have a good reason.

Ahh. I didn't surf through the whole thread; just read from where it picked up.

I guess it doesn't surprise me. But then again, I don't care very much whether or not someone's a virgin. That's their business.
 
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Larry Mondello

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If you're a virgin, you probably haven't been in a serious relationship. How many relationships these days last longer than a month without sex? 1st or 2nd date seems to be the new norm, 3rd or 4th at the latest. But a 6 month - 1 year relationship (or longer) and no sex? Unless they are waiting for marriage, not likely.

So, I'd say they go hand in hand.
No, they don't.
Again, some incorrect assumptions.

Many Christians, for example, don't get sexually involved until marriage.
Many people go through relationships without getting fully sexually involved.

I dated virgin women in their late 20s and 30s, and they had been in relationships before.

Have met virgin women in these boards who've dated a lot yet not had sex, though their partners pressured them.
They don't want to end up like their sisters, pregnant and unmarried or with STDs.

Rebecca St. James is a good example. She's dated a lot, but wasn't sexually involved until her wedding night.
 
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selfinflikted

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On this topic, is there a minimum age requirement to lose one's virginity? Do we view anyone who has had sex after puberty to no longer be a virgin? What about before puberty?

Kids seem to be getting younger and younger and experimenting, to the point that elementary-middle school kids are even experimenting with each other. Not sure they have the mental development for it to be classified as losing their virginity, but just curious with the new societal trend among kids.

I honestly don't think this is anything new. I think when puberty hits, sex is sought after. I'm fairly certain because of our biology, it's always been that way.
 
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Larry Mondello

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You're proving my point right here, bud. You're replying and whining about something I never said. I NEVER said that no one cares if people are virgins. If I did, please quote me or admit you lied.
No, you did indicate people don't care.

Originally Posted by selfinflikted
If you want sex, have it. If you don't, don't. Who cares?
This.

However, to me it's obvious that the issue is more than just people feeling ostracized for their sexual choices, (which by the way, I find a bit ironic considering how much many Christians like to meddle with other people's sexual lives,) it's about people feeling inadequate themselves about their choices and feeling that they have to justify them to everyone else.


I said this, which is correct, as you did above state people don't care:

Originally Posted by groups postings
You aren't listening so well yourself, making pronouncement like no once cares if others are virgins, when in reality, they do care.


Re: your slam at Christianity, sure many Christians have condemned those who have sex outside of marriage. Of course that happens.
But it's not like they're the only ones criticizing peoples' sexual practices.

Non-virgins regularly put-down those who haven't had sex. That's a fact.
Look at Rebecca St. James.

For the record, I don't attack those who have had illicit or unmarried sex.

But this is all an argument over semantics, and doesn't really mean anything anyway.
Nit-pick my phrasings and try to disqualify me that way. Doesn't mean anything if I inadvertently mix one poster up with another.
 
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sandwiches

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No, you did indicate people don't care.

I said this, which is correct, as you did above state people don't care:

Re: your slam at Christianity, sure many Christians have condemned those who have sex outside of marriage. Of course that happens.
But it's not like they're the only ones criticizing peoples' sexual practices.

Non-virgins regularly put-down those who haven't had sex. That's a fact.
Look at Rebecca St. James.

For the record, I don't attack those who have had illicit or unmarried sex.

But this is all an argument over semantics, and doesn't really mean anything anyway.
Nit-pick my phrasings and try to disqualify me that way. Doesn't mean anything if I inadvertently mix one poster up with another.

You must have misquoted me because nowhere in that post did I indicate that people don't care. All I said is that to me, it seems that the issue in the thread is more about people feeling inadequate about being virgins than anything else. Nowhere in that paragraph did I indicate that people don't care.

HOWEVER, I have suggested that it would probably be in virgins best interest to not worry about what people say. Virginity or lack thereof isn't a big deal... to me, at least.
 
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Jase

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I honestly don't think this is anything new. I think when puberty hits, sex is sought after. I'm fairly certain because of our biology, it's always been that way.

True, but kids are even experimenting before puberty. Does that even count? I guess the term "virginity" is subjective.
 
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sandwiches

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True, but kids are even experimenting before puberty. Does that even count? I guess the term "virginity" is subjective.

Is this pre-puberty sexual experimentation new or was this kept in secret more due to sexual taboos?
 
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Larry Mondello

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I have suggested that it would probably be in virgins best interest to not worry about what people say. Virginity or lack thereof isn't a big deal... to me, at least.
That makes sense.

I mean no disrespect toward you, and admit I may have misunderstood some things here or got posters mixed-up.

I hope you see where I'm coming from:
that some/ many people belittle virgins or those with little experience.

Like Jase says, many women AND men won't date virgins. I've read their posts online.

You won't see me attacking or belittling those who have sex or those who haven't.

I've been on both sides of the fence, lived as a semi- or "reborn" virgin through most of my 20s.
But had a short period in my life (1 month) @25-26 where I had casual sex 2X.
That means I had full penetrative sex all of 2X 19-30.
So I understand how things are.
Don't anyone go thinkin' I'm some prude with sexual or religious hang-ups.
 
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selfinflikted

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True, but kids are even experimenting before puberty. Does that even count? I guess the term "virginity" is subjective.

Again, I'm with Mr Sammiches. Most kids, IIRC, "experiment" before puberty. In fact, it's considered abnormal if they do not.
 
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selfinflikted

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Didn't say that.
Said "reborn."

Can't you read?

Many non-Christian women use that as well, as I've read online.

Whatevs. Point was, using that terminology, one would tend to think you do have sexual/religious hangups.
 
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sandwiches

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That makes sense.

I mean no disrespect toward you, and admit I may have misunderstood some things here or got posters mixed-up.

I hope you see where I'm coming from:
that some/ many people belittle virgins or those with little experience.

Like Jase says, many women AND men won't date virgins. I've read their posts online.

You won't see me attacking or belittling those who have sex or those who haven't.

I've been on both sides of the fence, lived as a semi- or "reborn" virgin through most of my 20s.
But had a short period in my life (1 month) @25-26 where I had casual sex 2X.
That means I had full penetrative sex all of 2X 19-30.
So I understand how things are.
Don't anyone go thinkin' I'm some prude with sexual or religious hang-ups.

I don't think you're a prude or weirdo but I do believe you hold virginity in too high a regard. I understand this comes from your religious beliefs, but I think as an atheist, you can understand why I don't find those reasons particularly compelling.
 
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keith99

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That makes sense.

I mean no disrespect toward you, and admit I may have misunderstood some things here or got posters mixed-up.

I hope you see where I'm coming from:
that some/ many people belittle virgins or those with little experience.

Like Jase says, many women AND men won't date virgins. I've read their posts online.

You won't see me attacking or belittling those who have sex or those who haven't.

I've been on both sides of the fence, lived as a semi- or "reborn" virgin through most of my 20s.
But had a short period in my life (1 month) @25-26 where I had casual sex 2X.
That means I had full penetrative sex all of 2X 19-30.
So I understand how things are.
Don't anyone go thinkin' I'm some prude with sexual or religious hang-ups.

If one expects sex to be part of a dating relationship not dating virgins makes sense. Some who make the statement they do not date virgins actually do it out of respect for the views of the virgins involved, some are flat out cruel about it. Like almost all groups, there are good variations and foul variations.
 
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Larry Mondello

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Whatevs. Point was, using that terminology, one would tend to think you do have sexual/religious hangups.
No, I'm not a narrow-minded Christian.
I've had experience. And regrets.

I don't want to assume you're a narrow-minded atheist, the term you use.

Gee. Try to be accommodating here and get slammed...
 
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Larry Mondello

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Whatevs. Point was, using that terminology, one would tend to think you do have sexual/religious hangups.
To be fair, you and another poster get so hung-up on terms and phraseology, nitpickin' everything I post....
 
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Jase

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Again, I'm with Mr Sammiches. Most kids, IIRC, "experiment" before puberty. In fact, it's considered abnormal if they do not.

Makes sense. Was just curious if we define that in the context of Virginity, or is that strictly used in the full sexual development sense, and "Experiment" is used for younger than full sexual development. Odd inquiry I know, but I have my reasons. ;)
 
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