Two things on this. One, as has been said by C2W and I thikg Faith Prevails, it's not against their will. And second, as professing believers, shouldn't both the wife and husband be seeking and following God's will and not their own? If the husband is truly seeking and following God's will, then there is no problem right? If the wife is truly seeking God's will then it will align with what the husband says should be done if he is doing likewise. But then again, from your worldview that even the best man is inherently more likely to ignore God's will and follow his own than the wife is, your stance on this makes perfect sense.
Handing over the right to MAKE the final decision may not be against a submissive wife's will (though some do so out of fear of condemnation), but the choice that is
made may not be the one they would have made, even if they themselves
were seeking out the Lord's will. There is therefore, as far as I see it then, the unspoken assumption that in a marriage of two Christians, the h is more trusted to be able to discern the Lord's will than the wife since he is given the duty to make such decisions with the assumption that he will correctly seek out and discern God's will. That is a hierarchy. God-husband-wife. The wife trusts him in that, IMO, sometimes too naively since we should not forget that h's are no more divinely connected to God than wives and no less fallen, as Johnnz reminded us. Doesn't mean that we who don't leave it up to our h's primarily to seek out the Lord's will for our families think ourselves MORE highly than our h's...but equally able to lead ourselves and our children in the way of the Lord. We are to put our trust in
God, NOT another human being; that is Biblical. I just read a passage in Psalms about that last night, interestingly enough. There's a fine line between loving and respecting your h and idolizing him.
Plus, re. the bolded: since when is there a Biblical allowance for if the h is NOT truly seeking and following God's will? Wives are still expected to "submit" to an unbelieving h, are they not? Faith and C2W talk about how happy they are to submit but they are fortunate to have h's who treat them well and who they believe are putting the Lord first. If not...then what? It's not an extreme situation; it's very common, and to ignore the obvious problems that will then arise if a wife IS supposed to submit to her h simply because he is her h is irresponsible. PERHAPS it doesn't work so often because it's legalistic and misguided...misinterpreted.
Lastly, if a h and wife are both seemingly seeking the Lord's will and as yet coming up with different ideas as to how a certain problem should be handled (this is not uncommon), it apparently must be presumed at some point that the h is right....or the wife wasn't seeking the Lord's will...or her will would have aligned with the h's. That's just insulting to women, TBH.