My line of thinking goes this way. Paul is talking about relationships within the Christian community, which begins with 5:15. He mentions mutual submission and then goes on to develop that theme. Wives submit to their husband who is to love them as Christ did by laying down his life i.e. sacrificially. That teaching was in direct contrast to Roman society, where the oldest male was absolute lord of the household, including all other people living there, even another man's wife. We cannot assume a modern nuclear family back onto those texts. Thus Paul was undercutting the primary male taking precedence over other's wives. Also, Roman law did not recognise marriage between slaves; they were mere property (as were wives too). Slave families could be broken up by sale. Remembering that Paul's letter would be read aloud to all present in the house church at Ephesus, all there would have recognised he was countering prevailing cultural norms, namely:
Each (including a slave's) marriage was between a couple, and not to be overridden by the master male.
In a society where marriage was held in low regard by many, Paul taught of a mutual love and respect, as if they were one (love their wives as their own bodies) , echoing the 'one flesh' of Genesis. Paul was the only writer in the ancient world to write about a husband loving his wife, which he takes to the level of Christ's sacrificial love.
A wife's primary submission was to her husband not the head male, although she would be otherwise expected to conform to his requirements either as his child, or as his servant.
John
NZ
