I've sacrificed tons for God. I've been rejected by my own family for following him; it caused a rift in the relationship I had with my dad. All of the things I've done for God were out of love and obedience and loyalty for him. When I help others it's because I believe it's the right thing to do....and because I enjoy helping other ppl, as well as it's my way of sharing God's love to ppl and showing my love to him.
People suggest reading the word, praying, going to church, etc. However if I were to do these things, it wouldn't be sincere, and that to me is just as rude and disrespectful to God as sinning against him.
I spent time in prayer and waited for signs of what I thought he called me to. Then when I though I knew what he'd called me to, I put forth all of my time, efforts, energy, and concentration.
I thought God was supposed to reward those who were faithful for him, loyal to him, and those who endure pain, suffering, rejection, etc. etc. for him....all of which I've done. I don't just mean in the afterlife in heaven, I mean while here on earth too.
However despite doing all of this, my life ended up in shambles. I was uprooted from everything and everyone I love.
I KNOW the purposes of sanctification and persecution and refinement are and what they serve; that's what 90% of my walk with God has been.
I don't need to be told life is unfair I already know this from past experience in my own life.
Why should I trust God? I prayed to him for things to improve, for providing opportunities for things to get better; I used the resources and opportunities he made available to me while trying to trust him that things would get better and trying to believe he'd provide for me.
Despite doing that, things still haven't improved. Whenever things are on the verge of getting better, something without fail happens to wreck it.
I know that waiting builds character, but I'm sick to death of waiting.
I'm exhausted in every aspect of the word.....emotionally, spiritually, physically. I hate my life and stay alive for the sake of others. If it weren't for them, I'd already be dead. Quite frankly I don't even think people would care if I were gone, because most of my 'friends' treat me like I don't exist, so that tells me they don't care.
They say they do but actions speak louder than words. I don't care if it's intentional or not, it still hurt.
People suggest reading the word, praying, going to church, etc. However if I were to do these things, it wouldn't be sincere, and that to me is just as rude and disrespectful to God as sinning against him.
I spent time in prayer and waited for signs of what I thought he called me to. Then when I though I knew what he'd called me to, I put forth all of my time, efforts, energy, and concentration.
I thought God was supposed to reward those who were faithful for him, loyal to him, and those who endure pain, suffering, rejection, etc. etc. for him....all of which I've done. I don't just mean in the afterlife in heaven, I mean while here on earth too.
However despite doing all of this, my life ended up in shambles. I was uprooted from everything and everyone I love.
I KNOW the purposes of sanctification and persecution and refinement are and what they serve; that's what 90% of my walk with God has been.
I don't need to be told life is unfair I already know this from past experience in my own life.
Why should I trust God? I prayed to him for things to improve, for providing opportunities for things to get better; I used the resources and opportunities he made available to me while trying to trust him that things would get better and trying to believe he'd provide for me.
Despite doing that, things still haven't improved. Whenever things are on the verge of getting better, something without fail happens to wreck it.
I know that waiting builds character, but I'm sick to death of waiting.
I'm exhausted in every aspect of the word.....emotionally, spiritually, physically. I hate my life and stay alive for the sake of others. If it weren't for them, I'd already be dead. Quite frankly I don't even think people would care if I were gone, because most of my 'friends' treat me like I don't exist, so that tells me they don't care.
They say they do but actions speak louder than words. I don't care if it's intentional or not, it still hurt.