- Feb 25, 2006
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I am just curious if anyone is willing to share how God has changed you and your life since you accepted him in your heart?
@ sk8brd
I think you and me have much in common. I read some of the things you wrote. For me becoming a christian also hasn't been much of a help but rather a source of frustration while others seem to bloom wonderfully and grow and become more and more convinced I've not made any progress in all those years. At least you know you're not alone.
people tell me just pray in the morning, go thru ur day n don't think about God and pray again at night,
Do you have time? LOL. The Lord has worked in my life is so many ways.
The first moment I remember the Lord speaking to me was after I got an abortion. He visited me in my dreams. I felt really convicted and guilty for doing it(I was forced by my family and boyfriend at the time to get one. I didn't want to do it. I just couldn't forgive myself for killing a precious child of God. For years after I struggled with an alcoholic mother, the death of my father, and self-esteem issues. I was very consumed with negativity. Then my grandmother would tell me about the Lord and for years I didn't want to listen. I thought she was crazy. But after I aborted my own child the Lord was all I had.
I got baptized about year later, and my life has been changed ever since. The blood of Jesus Christ is real and it cleansed me of all of my sins. I'm a totally different person because of the Lord. I'm forever thankful for it. I know I don't deserve His mercy and grace, because He has been so great to me.
Hi,
I don't think that God has really proven himself to me. I mean it's not that I can't get doubts about Him. When life is good then it is easy to believe in God and just say a prayer and live your life but when life sucks then it's much harder to believe in God and try to make sense of the situation. My life has sucked for a long time and it's not getting better and I also have no plans or solutions how to change it through prayer or faith. And depending on who you ask you get all kinds of different answers like God wants it that way or that God doesn't want people to suffer and that one has to have faith because only then God can do something...
Most of the advice one gets are not helpful at all and depress me even more. I mean stuff like there are others who also have hard lives doesn't help me.
yeah i understand that about getting advice n most advice isn't helpful - i've gotten advice from many people - some of the advice was good - everyone says u can't trust ur feelings as feelings change - but, as i said no one understands what i've been thru - all i've felt over the last 10 yrs was Feelings - God has fed me thru my feelings 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a week for the last 10 years and now........ - he's just throwing this at me where now, i'm feelin nothin - this is what i'm really struggling w/ - to have him feed me thru feelings/peace the last 10 yrs and now it all comes to a halt, well, now i'm struggling even more w/ faith and how to stay faithful - i still feel at any second i could just fall away - not that i want to, but, i don't c any real way out of this by staying faithful.
I also struggle with not knowing how God really is. Is he angry or not? Does he test christians and put them through trials to see how much they can suffer? I hope not cause these are all things which are pretty disturbing.
Christianity can be depressing depending on what kind of christianity you're exposed to. I do not know what denomination you belong to if you belong to any or what church you go to but from what you say it sounds like the stuff you are exposed to is toxic and dragging you down to a point where it becomes dangerous. I think that a lot of your fears come from what you've been taught. If you hear a message and it drags you down then I wouldn't listen to it. I also wouldn't listen to anything which scares you.
I have been brought up in the non-denomination type of churches. Church hasn't dragged me down at all - its actually lifted me up - its just this christianity and stuff that's happened w/ God that has dragged me down thru the years - I've gotten sooooo many great things out of my church - the last 2 weeks attending my church, the pastor has given awesome messages that really spoke to me and helped me out but its my own feeligns/thoughts/beliefs that are dragging me down.
I also don't know what kind of tests you refer to which God supposedly puts you through what tests do you mean and who says that this is God? I would be careful with this because there are christians who say that everything is from God but I don't believe this. Not just that this is disturbing it also doesn't make much sense. If everything which happens is God's will then it would make no sense to pray because God controls everything. I don't agree with this fatalistic view which tries to makes sense of everything even when people die it must have been God cause otherwise they could not have died.
I honestly can't explain to you the tests i've been thru - but, I believe they are from God - but, the temptations I kno are from Satan bc God cannot tempt us, he can only test our faith (which i kno may sound similar - tests/temptations that is) - I don't understand a lot of this and agree w/ what u said.
I think you should try to find out the source of your depression and fears and if it has anything to do with your church then I would quit going there and look for a church which teaches stuff which helps you and doesn't drag you down. Maybe it would also help you to take some time and try to reconnect with God somehow and forget everything else and try to talk to Him about the things which you struggle with. Today everbody's taught that one needs to go to church and so on but when going to church is actually the source of the problem then what sense does it go there and then being dragged down? I'd rather be a lone christian and somehow get along and stay sane and keep my faith than to be a church member and then continually get messed up every week because a lot of doctrine is destructive. I have listened to many hundreds of sermons over the years and most of them sucked. It's sad but you really have to be careful even when you're among christians and have to keep your guard up because just because something says he's a christian doesn't mean he is safe to be around.
i honestly don't kno how to re-connect w/ God - i really don't have many christians around here that i can meet w/ and pray with or do a bible study with - its just me, myself and i and i feel like i'm in this by myself - i feel like i have nothing to grab onto anymore w/ what God is doin to me - i'm really struggling w/ staying faithful and that's where my depression is mainly from.....
and have you talked about your problems with your family? are they christians? can they offer some relief for your fears? i feel for you cause i'm in the same shoes and have also suffered for many years and also would like to change things but at the same time i don't know how.
This video is for you sk8:
YouTube - In The Potter's Hands
So your problem is that all those years you felt something and now the feeling is gone? Is that the actual problem?
yes - that's my problem - i'm just afraid that since i'm feeling "nothing" after ALL these years of feeling Something that i'm just gonna go back to my regular life w/o taking God w/ me - That is my real fear which has gotten me totally miserable n depressed. I kno God isn't gone - it's just that i have no more "feelings" to grab onto and hold me up - It was easier to stay faithful these last 10 yrs bc i always felt something that made me push forward and look for an answer and stay in prayer and really try to follow God but, now that all of that is gone, i just don't know anymore.
As, soldier or sorry i forget his sn, but the video he posted about God bein the potter and us being the clay - i believe God has been giving me these so-called changes these last 4 yrs bc he's trying to change me - i don't kno what or who he's tryin to change me into but, he's tryin to transform my life and make me grow.
I've been depressed for the last 3-4 weeks now and i was still feeling something during that time. Like i said b4, i haven't been so depressed or suicidal since i became a christian and things have just gotten worse since i accepted christ into my heart - they didn't get better too much for some reason - maybe i'm tryin too hard? but, it just seems like my mind can't comprehend how to "do" this life and satan is probably just filling my thoughts w/ more n more confusion n i'm confused enough as it is - i don't need him to confuse me even more.
For me, i just don't understand how "normal" christians can stay faithful to God if they don't feel anything or "sense" him - to me, that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever - many christians i've spoken w/ have told me they have never felt anything - they have never felt God or felt the peace that i've been referring to and they call me "lucky" to have felt it - I'm grateful and thankful to God during those times he gave me the peace as i kno i needed it.
and yes, ur absolutely correcft - i am anxiety driven bc that's what started this whole whirlwind of events 10 yrs ago and i was never able to escape it - i never actually experienced peace, - well, i did but only the times when God gave me his deep peace - then and ONLY then was i really AT PEACE and was able to relax - then every other time i was filled w/ fear/panic and scrambling and not knowing how to handle the situations.
You kno, i can't just spend 3 minutes in prayer - i sometimes pray for an hour or 2 - sometimes i fall asleep at night while praying and when i wake up, i continue praying right where i left off - i anyways - i really don't like complaining bout what i'm goin thru - so, i'm gonna just sign off for tonight - read a few chapters in matthew, pray n take my puppy and go to sleep.
thank you though - hopefully tomorrow will be a better and brighter day for all of us!!!
oh but i will check those websites out - thanks for sharing them
He is our loving Father Sk8, He does love us with a love that we cannot comprehend or ever know completely. That He would ever love such unlovable creatures as we are we can never understand, but the fact that Jesus shed all of His blood for the likes of us we can know that His love is true and never failing and that no matter what we feel or go through this love, this God, will never forsake us.
Place your faith not in your circumstance but in the blood of Christ, in the death that He died, He did it to prove His love and to provide a way to the holy God. If you base your relationship and faith in this God, Jesus who died to save you, then when doubts come and they will, you can always look to your loving Saviour and know that no matter what, that Jesus is Lord and He loves me because that blood was for me. Claim it sk8: "that blood was shed for me!" His death was for all who would believe, and you are one of those who have been called by the Spirit of God to believe in His holy Son, you are chosen and holy and dearly loved by the maker of heaven and earth. Be blessed in Jesus name!