How has God changed you and your life?

SoldierOfSoul

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I grew up in church, I went to revival services during my childhood and teen years on a regular basis. After months of conviction of sin, I went to the alter to try and find God at the age of ten. But I know that I never submitted to the Lords rule in my life during the years that followed and I believe I fail away. I became a drug addict at the age of 18 after my father passed away. I was heavily addicted to pain killers and just about anything else I could find.

One day when I was sober, I started to read the bible, I started reading Hebrews, let me tell you, if you are not saved this is a scary book! I read into Hebrew's until I started getting to the verses warning of apostasy and of forsaking God after coming to the knowledge of the truth. Well, I did have knowledge of the truth! (And I feared that I had committed the unpardonable sin, this was a hard time in my life but the Lord in His mercy allowed me to go through it so that I could find Him and be delivered from the love of sin.) I knew that Jesus died for the sins of the world and I would gladly believe this! But what I didn't want was for Him to be my Lord and come and snatch my sins away from me.

So the Lord frightened me out of complacency of sin, I repented and I repented and I repented and asked for His mercy and I ask Him to deliver me of all sin. I can tell you that I have been sober for 2 years now, although I am long way away from being sin free, but the Lord is still working on me and producing in me a godly repentance. Jesus saved me eternally but He also saved me from my own destruction, He saved me from my sin in the most complete sense. Although I sin sometimes as all humans do, the desire to make this a lifestyle is no longer present, I want to live for Jesus Christ. I do not want to offend the Holy Spirit of God who lives in me. I want to be free from all evil in my life and I can say with Paul that I wait for the day when I am delivered from this body of death by our Saviour Jesus Christ who gives us the victory, praise be to His name!
 
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tturt

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You have some interesting topics.

When I got serious about having a relationship with Yahweh - things changed such as:
One thing that happened was my language isn't as riddled with offensive language. It wasn't a conscious decision on my part. But I use to say X about a 100 times a day. Now I rarely say X once a month if that including when I've driving.

Though I attended church regularly but now I look forward to going.

Prayer was reserved for when things got rough but now I talk with Yahweh frequently about a wide range of topics.

Just really didn't see how Scripture could be true. Then I realized that Yahweh doesn't have to prove anything to me - He's God. I had to change my mind and accept what His Word says.

I'm amazed more everyday at how awesome He is, at the sacrifice of Christ Jesus, and the Holy Spirit as He counsels and guides.
 
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Nique1985

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Do you have time? LOL. The Lord has worked in my life is so many ways.

The first moment I remember the Lord speaking to me was after I got an abortion. He visited me in my dreams. I felt really convicted and guilty for doing it(I was forced by my family and boyfriend at the time to get one. I didn't want to do it. I just couldn't forgive myself for killing a precious child of God. For years after I struggled with an alcoholic mother, the death of my father, and self-esteem issues. I was very consumed with negativity. Then my grandmother would tell me about the Lord and for years I didn't want to listen. I thought she was crazy. But after I aborted my own child the Lord was all I had.

I got baptized about year later, and my life has been changed ever since. The blood of Jesus Christ is real and it cleansed me of all of my sins. I'm a totally different person because of the Lord. I'm forever thankful for it. I know I don't deserve His mercy and grace, because He has been so great to me.
 
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crespo

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@ sk8brd

I think you and me have much in common. I read some of the things you wrote. For me becoming a christian also hasn't been much of a help but rather a source of frustration while others seem to bloom wonderfully and grow and become more and more convinced I've not made any progress in all those years. At least you know you're not alone.
 
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SplendidTree

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God has helped me to value and appreciate every little thing I have. He literally saved my life and since then I have never felt the same. He has helped me mature into a respectful and kind young woman. I could say so much more! lol Just God has changed my life and took so much care as to put me on the right paths in life. I handle things a lot differently such as emotions and speaking. Tough situations even. I am just so thankful for these changes. Praise God!
 
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sk8brdkd

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@ sk8brd

I think you and me have much in common. I read some of the things you wrote. For me becoming a christian also hasn't been much of a help but rather a source of frustration while others seem to bloom wonderfully and grow and become more and more convinced I've not made any progress in all those years. At least you know you're not alone.

but, what, if anything has God done or proven to you?? i understand what u said about the not growing part - i feel like i'm at the same spot i was 10 yrs ago and like i haven't grown at all even though i had spent many hours in prayer - i just feel like i'm really really weak and that satan will easily be able to pull me away. Do you feel like that too sometimes?? And, honestly, i have to say, i thought i was the only one that struggled w/ that and felt like that. I'm glad i'm not alone but, it's not a spot either one of us should say in.............

God has done a lot for me over the last 10 yrs, but, since becoming a christian, i have been so depressed and many times been suicidal as well. I was NEVER suicidal before i became a christian. I was always happy and loving but as soon as Christ hit me back in march of 2001, my life changed forever - it changed in some good ways, but, mostly not so good ways. I even attemted to take my life MANY times just bc i couldn't take the pain and frustration of christianity and all the trials/tests that God was putting me thru n is still putting me through. The last time i thought about suicide was a couple of weeks ago bc God was putting me through some extremely hard tests n i just couldn't take it anymore - i still feel like that (not suicidal at this point) - I can't say i'm thankful that i never did commit suicide -

Something i've never understood, and still don't understand is, people tell me just pray in the morning, go thru ur day n don't think about God and pray again at night, but, how in the world can u do that? I'm soooooooooooooo confused about that - if i went n did that, i'd just let go of him completely - i kno that for sure.
 
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SoldierOfSoul

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people tell me just pray in the morning, go thru ur day n don't think about God and pray again at night,

That is the worst advice i have ever heard in my life! The bible tells us to do the complete opposite:

"Rejoice always; pray without ceasing," (1 Thessalonians 5:16,17)
 
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crespo

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Hi,
I don't think that God has really proven himself to me. I mean it's not that I can't get doubts about Him. When life is good then it is easy to believe in God and just say a prayer and live your life but when life sucks then it's much harder to believe in God and try to make sense of the situation. My life has sucked for a long time and it's not getting better and I also have no plans or solutions how to change it through prayer or faith. And depending on who you ask you get all kinds of different answers like God wants it that way or that God doesn't want people to suffer and that one has to have faith because only then God can do something...
Most of the advice one gets are not helpful at all and depress me even more. I mean stuff like there are others who also have hard lives doesn't help me.

I also struggle with not knowing how God really is. Is he angry or not? Does he test christians and put them through trials to see how much they can suffer? I hope not cause these are all things which are pretty disturbing.
Christianity can be depressing depending on what kind of christianity you're exposed to. I do not know what denomination you belong to if you belong to any or what church you go to but from what you say it sounds like the stuff you are exposed to is toxic and dragging you down to a point where it becomes dangerous. I think that a lot of your fears come from what you've been taught. If you hear a message and it drags you down then I wouldn't listen to it. I also wouldn't listen to anything which scares you.
I also don't know what kind of tests you refer to which God supposedly puts you through what tests do you mean and who says that this is God? I would be careful with this because there are christians who say that everything is from God but I don't believe this. Not just that this is disturbing it also doesn't make much sense. If everything which happens is God's will then it would make no sense to pray because God controls everything. I don't agree with this fatalistic view which tries to makes sense of everything even when people die it must have been God cause otherwise they could not have died.

I think you should try to find out the source of your depression and fears and if it has anything to do with your church then I would quit going there and look for a church which teaches stuff which helps you and doesn't drag you down. Maybe it would also help you to take some time and try to reconnect with God somehow and forget everything else and try to talk to Him about the things which you struggle with. Today everbody's taught that one needs to go to church and so on but when going to church is actually the source of the problem then what sense does it go there and then being dragged down? I'd rather be a lone christian and somehow get along and stay sane and keep my faith than to be a church member and then continually get messed up every week because a lot of doctrine is destructive. I have listened to many hundreds of sermons over the years and most of them sucked. It's sad but you really have to be careful even when you're among christians and have to keep your guard up because just because something says he's a christian doesn't mean he is safe to be around.

and have you talked about your problems with your family? are they christians? can they offer some relief for your fears? i feel for you cause i'm in the same shoes and have also suffered for many years and also would like to change things but at the same time i don't know how.
 
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sk8brdkd

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Do you have time? LOL. The Lord has worked in my life is so many ways.

The first moment I remember the Lord speaking to me was after I got an abortion. He visited me in my dreams. I felt really convicted and guilty for doing it(I was forced by my family and boyfriend at the time to get one. I didn't want to do it. I just couldn't forgive myself for killing a precious child of God. For years after I struggled with an alcoholic mother, the death of my father, and self-esteem issues. I was very consumed with negativity. Then my grandmother would tell me about the Lord and for years I didn't want to listen. I thought she was crazy. But after I aborted my own child the Lord was all I had.

I got baptized about year later, and my life has been changed ever since. The blood of Jesus Christ is real and it cleansed me of all of my sins. I'm a totally different person because of the Lord. I'm forever thankful for it. I know I don't deserve His mercy and grace, because He has been so great to me.

those are encouraging words - thanks for sharing
 
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sk8brdkd

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Hi,
I don't think that God has really proven himself to me. I mean it's not that I can't get doubts about Him. When life is good then it is easy to believe in God and just say a prayer and live your life but when life sucks then it's much harder to believe in God and try to make sense of the situation. My life has sucked for a long time and it's not getting better and I also have no plans or solutions how to change it through prayer or faith. And depending on who you ask you get all kinds of different answers like God wants it that way or that God doesn't want people to suffer and that one has to have faith because only then God can do something...
Most of the advice one gets are not helpful at all and depress me even more. I mean stuff like there are others who also have hard lives doesn't help me.

yeah i understand that about getting advice n most advice isn't helpful - i've gotten advice from many people - some of the advice was good - everyone says u can't trust ur feelings as feelings change - but, as i said no one understands what i've been thru - all i've felt over the last 10 yrs was Feelings - God has fed me thru my feelings 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a week for the last 10 years and now........ - he's just throwing this at me where now, i'm feelin nothin - this is what i'm really struggling w/ - to have him feed me thru feelings/peace the last 10 yrs and now it all comes to a halt, well, now i'm struggling even more w/ faith and how to stay faithful - i still feel at any second i could just fall away - not that i want to, but, i don't c any real way out of this by staying faithful.

I also struggle with not knowing how God really is. Is he angry or not? Does he test christians and put them through trials to see how much they can suffer? I hope not cause these are all things which are pretty disturbing.
Christianity can be depressing depending on what kind of christianity you're exposed to. I do not know what denomination you belong to if you belong to any or what church you go to but from what you say it sounds like the stuff you are exposed to is toxic and dragging you down to a point where it becomes dangerous. I think that a lot of your fears come from what you've been taught. If you hear a message and it drags you down then I wouldn't listen to it. I also wouldn't listen to anything which scares you.

I have been brought up in the non-denomination type of churches. Church hasn't dragged me down at all - its actually lifted me up - its just this christianity and stuff that's happened w/ God that has dragged me down thru the years - I've gotten sooooo many great things out of my church - the last 2 weeks attending my church, the pastor has given awesome messages that really spoke to me and helped me out but its my own feeligns/thoughts/beliefs that are dragging me down.

I also don't know what kind of tests you refer to which God supposedly puts you through what tests do you mean and who says that this is God? I would be careful with this because there are christians who say that everything is from God but I don't believe this. Not just that this is disturbing it also doesn't make much sense. If everything which happens is God's will then it would make no sense to pray because God controls everything. I don't agree with this fatalistic view which tries to makes sense of everything even when people die it must have been God cause otherwise they could not have died.

I honestly can't explain to you the tests i've been thru - but, I believe they are from God - but, the temptations I kno are from Satan bc God cannot tempt us, he can only test our faith (which i kno may sound similar - tests/temptations that is) - I don't understand a lot of this and agree w/ what u said.

I think you should try to find out the source of your depression and fears and if it has anything to do with your church then I would quit going there and look for a church which teaches stuff which helps you and doesn't drag you down. Maybe it would also help you to take some time and try to reconnect with God somehow and forget everything else and try to talk to Him about the things which you struggle with. Today everbody's taught that one needs to go to church and so on but when going to church is actually the source of the problem then what sense does it go there and then being dragged down? I'd rather be a lone christian and somehow get along and stay sane and keep my faith than to be a church member and then continually get messed up every week because a lot of doctrine is destructive. I have listened to many hundreds of sermons over the years and most of them sucked. It's sad but you really have to be careful even when you're among christians and have to keep your guard up because just because something says he's a christian doesn't mean he is safe to be around.

i honestly don't kno how to re-connect w/ God - i really don't have many christians around here that i can meet w/ and pray with or do a bible study with - its just me, myself and i and i feel like i'm in this by myself - i feel like i have nothing to grab onto anymore w/ what God is doin to me - i'm really struggling w/ staying faithful and that's where my depression is mainly from.....

and have you talked about your problems with your family? are they christians? can they offer some relief for your fears? i feel for you cause i'm in the same shoes and have also suffered for many years and also would like to change things but at the same time i don't know how.

and yes, my mom has known about this issue for the last 4 or 5 years now and she told me that God gave her peace that i was going to stay faithful - i am not sure why he would give her the peace bout that bc i don't feel like i'm gonna stay faithful past tomorrow bc that's how bad and how hard it is now - sure, i wish he was correct in that i'll stay faithful - that's all i've been tryin to do lately but, oh i don't know - i've just had it..............
 
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crespo

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So your problem is that all those years you felt something and now the feeling is gone? Is that the actual problem? And you think that the feeling is gone because of God? I don't think it necessarily has to be God it could have many reasons. It could also be because you're depressed or sick that the feeling is gone. I have similar problems with feelings. At first when I became a christian I felt faithful but then this feeling suddenly started vanishing and then I didn't know if my faith was gone or not and then I searched for something to reassure me that I still believe. I cannot really nail faith down and dissect what it is and how one can tell wether one really owns it or not. That's something 99,9% of the christians can't comprehend at all.
You seem to be very anxiety ridden and tensed and desperately try to avoid things which you think will make you fall off like playing video games. I don't think that these own efforts will make you any better and besides this it doesn't make a huge difference if you're not playing video games and instead are only miserable.
It's hard to give any advice when one has so little information about you. But all this fear and tension is definitely not good. You needed to come down from this anxiety level and find a way how you can integrate being a christian into your life, for example if you live your day as usual and only make it to talk to God for a few minutes 3 times a day then this would already be a start. This way you'd get a "routine" going and you would be able to integrate your faith into your normal life. In my opinion something like this would be better than trying to stay away from video games or whatever. Maybe what you needed is some recreation and some activities which make you feel better. Forbidding things and restrictions usually don't help that much. For example if I had to choose between watching TV or being miserable I'd rather watch some TV.
I also think your fear of falling of might isn't helpful cause this only makes it worse. I had the same fears but not as bad anymore. Recently I listened to some sermons which I thought were helpful about OSAS, maybe this could also help you and calm some of those fears:

de.audiofarm.org/audiofiles/6968-once-saved-always-saved-explained-and-defended-part-1-

de.audiofarm.org/audiofiles/7162-once-saved-always-saved-explained-and-defended-part-2-

I also liked the explanations of the parables:

gespodcast.blogspot.com/2008/04/wilkin-and-hodges-short-discussions-of.html
 
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sk8brdkd

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SoldierOfSoul

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He is our loving Father Sk8, He does love us with a love that we cannot comprehend or ever know completely. That He would ever love such unlovable creatures as we are we can never understand, but the fact that Jesus shed all of His blood for the likes of us we can know that His love is true and never failing and that no matter what we feel or go through this love, this God, will never forsake us.

Place your faith not in your circumstance but in the blood of Christ, in the death that He died, He did it to prove His love and to provide a way to the holy God. If you base your relationship and faith in this God, Jesus who died to save you, then when doubts come and they will, you can always look to your loving Saviour and know that no matter what, that Jesus is Lord and He loves me because that blood was for me. Claim it sk8: "that blood was shed for me!" His death was for all who would believe, and you are one of those who have been called by the Spirit of God to believe in His holy Son, you are chosen and holy and dearly loved by the maker of heaven and earth. Be blessed in Jesus name!
 
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sk8brdkd

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So your problem is that all those years you felt something and now the feeling is gone? Is that the actual problem?

yes - that's my problem - i'm just afraid that since i'm feeling "nothing" after ALL these years of feeling Something that i'm just gonna go back to my regular life w/o taking God w/ me - That is my real fear which has gotten me totally miserable n depressed. I kno God isn't gone - it's just that i have no more "feelings" to grab onto and hold me up - It was easier to stay faithful these last 10 yrs bc i always felt something that made me push forward and look for an answer and stay in prayer and really try to follow God but, now that all of that is gone, i just don't know anymore.

As, soldier or sorry i forget his sn, but the video he posted about God bein the potter and us being the clay - i believe God has been giving me these so-called changes these last 4 yrs bc he's trying to change me - i don't kno what or who he's tryin to change me into but, he's tryin to transform my life and make me grow.

I've been depressed for the last 3-4 weeks now and i was still feeling something during that time. Like i said b4, i haven't been so depressed or suicidal since i became a christian and things have just gotten worse since i accepted christ into my heart - they didn't get better too much for some reason - maybe i'm tryin too hard? but, it just seems like my mind can't comprehend how to "do" this life and satan is probably just filling my thoughts w/ more n more confusion n i'm confused enough as it is - i don't need him to confuse me even more.

For me, i just don't understand how "normal" christians can stay faithful to God if they don't feel anything or "sense" him - to me, that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever - many christians i've spoken w/ have told me they have never felt anything - they have never felt God or felt the peace that i've been referring to and they call me "lucky" to have felt it - I'm grateful and thankful to God during those times he gave me the peace as i kno i needed it.

and yes, ur absolutely correcft - i am anxiety driven bc that's what started this whole whirlwind of events 10 yrs ago and i was never able to escape it - i never actually experienced peace, - well, i did but only the times when God gave me his deep peace - then and ONLY then was i really AT PEACE and was able to relax - then every other time i was filled w/ fear/panic and scrambling and not knowing how to handle the situations.

You kno, i can't just spend 3 minutes in prayer - i sometimes pray for an hour or 2 - sometimes i fall asleep at night while praying and when i wake up, i continue praying right where i left off - i anyways - i really don't like complaining bout what i'm goin thru - so, i'm gonna just sign off for tonight - read a few chapters in matthew, pray n take my puppy and go to sleep.

thank you though - hopefully tomorrow will be a better and brighter day for all of us!!!

oh but i will check those websites out - thanks for sharing them
 
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sk8brdkd

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He is our loving Father Sk8, He does love us with a love that we cannot comprehend or ever know completely. That He would ever love such unlovable creatures as we are we can never understand, but the fact that Jesus shed all of His blood for the likes of us we can know that His love is true and never failing and that no matter what we feel or go through this love, this God, will never forsake us.

Place your faith not in your circumstance but in the blood of Christ, in the death that He died, He did it to prove His love and to provide a way to the holy God. If you base your relationship and faith in this God, Jesus who died to save you, then when doubts come and they will, you can always look to your loving Saviour and know that no matter what, that Jesus is Lord and He loves me because that blood was for me. Claim it sk8: "that blood was shed for me!" His death was for all who would believe, and you are one of those who have been called by the Spirit of God to believe in His holy Son, you are chosen and holy and dearly loved by the maker of heaven and earth. Be blessed in Jesus name!


thank you for sharing this too - i think my mind is continuously filled w/ doubts and not trusting - i will pray bout what you shared w/ me tonight n c if God shares any insight w/ me
 
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i actually just want to apologize to everyone - i meant for this thread to be about what God is doing in everyone's lives but instead i've changed it into complaining about what's goin on in my life - i'm very sorry about that but, would really like to hear more stories of what God is doing or has done in your lives and how he's changing your lives - that's mainly what i'm interested in -

if anyone wants to talk to me about anything else, please just message me or email me - i want to leave this thread now to those who are willing to share what God is doing in their lives now a days! Thank you everyone for putting up w/ me and my little quirks
 
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