Does God want us to love ourselves? Would appreciate the feedback. Unfortunately, I had neglectful parents who suffered from true mental health issues, have no extended family, and a pretty emotionally abusive husband. I have come to terms with all of the above, and accepted it as life. I have moved on, and have a wide range of interests, and I enjoy the love of my children as well.
Unfortunately, one thing that I have is, the deep belief that I am one who in life will not be loved, and I have great difficulty feeling like I am worth anything. In abstract I know God loves me, but in real life it is not something I believe deep down in my soul.
You have intrinsic value as a creature made by God - and not only made
by Him, but made
in His image. Your intrinsic value as a God-made creature doesn't change no matter how your life pans out because your value does not derive from you or your circumstances, but from
God. We tend to think our value is determined by what we contribute to society, or by how beautiful, smart, or athletic we may be. But this is quite wrong. When this is the criteria by which a culture judges its members valuable or not, terrible atrocities are in the offing.
Ought you to love yourself? Is this a biblical idea? Well, I can't think of a single verse in Scripture which says you should "love yourself." We ought to
accept the way God has made us and treat ourselves and others with a fundamental respect that honors the fact that God has made us in His image. But
love ourselves? I'm not so sure...I suppose it depends upon what you mean by "love yourself." When I hear Christians promoting "Self-love" or "Self-esteem" I get very wary. Christ calls his followers to
die to Self, not to love Self. If loving yourself means that you are thinking more highly of yourself than you ought to think, or encouraging selfishness, then I don't think such "love of Self" ought to be encouraged among followers of Christ.
Is this something that God holds to be less than what he wants for us? The only one I am affecting is me. I have no trouble loving others. Its me I have trouble with, I can only assume that having unloving parents and spouse has fundamentally affected me.
You ought not to hate yourself, to despise the person God has created you to be. You are valuable as a person made in God's image regardless of what your parents or husband think. But keeping a humble view of yourself is by no means a bad thing. If people despise you because you are a mean-spirited wretch, then you deserve their ill will. If you have dealt with those who hate you with love, and gentleness, and generosity, why in the world would you think it was appropriate to adopt their hateful attitude toward you? That makes no sense whatsoever! If someone came up to you and told you that you were an ostrich, would you believe them? Even if they kept saying with great conviction and volume that you were an ostrich would you allow yourself to be persuaded that you were? Of course not! The more the person insisted on such a thing, the greater grounds you would have to think there was something terribly wrong with that person. So, why do you this with people who run you down and make you feel unlovely and unloveable? Are you
really unlovely and unloveable? If you are, then maybe you need to make some changes. If you aren't, then why don't you treat these negative folk like the guy who thinks you are an ostrich? Ignore them and understand that you aren't the one with the problem,
they are.
Does God care if I care about myself, or is it is a non issue?
Yes, of course you ought to care about yourself. Just be careful not to let people encourage you to become self-centered. Your body is the temple of God's Spirit and as the steward of His temple you are obliged to keep it in as a good a shape as you can. You are also a child of the Almighty Ruler of the Universe. Despising yourself is not in accord with being "a joint-heir with Christ."
I should add that I could be treated for depression, but the true issue I think is living with an abusive spouse, and I can't fix that, short of drastic measures (have three small children and I think of them the most).
God can change anyone - even your husband. Are you praying earnestly and persistently and waiting patiently on God to do so? Are you doing all you can to live in a way the helps God change your husband, or are you a hindrance to the changes God wishes to make in your spouse?
The more you fix your eyes upon Christ, the more your concerns about yourself will diminish. You cannot be Christ-centered and self-centered at the same time.
Selah.