I have a family member who is Catholic. She has been dating a man who is an evangelical-type protestant. Two years ago, they almost broke up because of the differences in their faiths (mainly, he isn't comfortable at all with going to a Catholic church with her). As a matter of fact, he left during the first part of our wedding mass because he didn't want to have any part of a Catholic mass.
A couple of months ago, they announced their engagement. She's recently called and emailed me in distress. She is miserable because she feels that she has to give up being Catholic just so she can marry this man. She's 35 and terrified that she will never find another man, that she will never get married and never have children. This seems to scare her more than giving up her faith.
She has asked me my opinion as to what she should do. My first, "gut" reaction is that she shouldn't even marry this man because the religious differences will end up causing too much conflict in their marriage. My next (and very Catholic) response is that she shouldn't give up her religious beliefs for anyone - not even her soon to be husband. If she insists on marrying him, he needs to accept her Catholic faith and learn to deal with it. I feel that if she marries him, she needs to continue going to mass and practicing her Catholic faith and insist that the children be raised Catholic (as we Catholics are encouraged to do - again, this isnt' up for debate here).
My main concerns are that she is giving up Jesus in the Eucharist (that is our belief, please don't knock it as this is not up for debate in this thread), that any children won't be allowed to be baptised as infants (another of our beliefs and also not up for debate here), and that he won't be there for the funeral masses when our family members die.
My question is:
Since she keeps calling me in distress, should I voice my concerns to her before she gets married, or should I keep my mouth shut and let her live her own life, no matter how much pain it's causing her?
A couple of months ago, they announced their engagement. She's recently called and emailed me in distress. She is miserable because she feels that she has to give up being Catholic just so she can marry this man. She's 35 and terrified that she will never find another man, that she will never get married and never have children. This seems to scare her more than giving up her faith.
She has asked me my opinion as to what she should do. My first, "gut" reaction is that she shouldn't even marry this man because the religious differences will end up causing too much conflict in their marriage. My next (and very Catholic) response is that she shouldn't give up her religious beliefs for anyone - not even her soon to be husband. If she insists on marrying him, he needs to accept her Catholic faith and learn to deal with it. I feel that if she marries him, she needs to continue going to mass and practicing her Catholic faith and insist that the children be raised Catholic (as we Catholics are encouraged to do - again, this isnt' up for debate here).
My main concerns are that she is giving up Jesus in the Eucharist (that is our belief, please don't knock it as this is not up for debate in this thread), that any children won't be allowed to be baptised as infants (another of our beliefs and also not up for debate here), and that he won't be there for the funeral masses when our family members die.
My question is:
Since she keeps calling me in distress, should I voice my concerns to her before she gets married, or should I keep my mouth shut and let her live her own life, no matter how much pain it's causing her?