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Chronic pain/illness' and depression seem to go hand in hand

pumanator

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The reality of "this isn't going to get any better" or "the older I get the more difficult this is going to be to deal with" can hit home rather hard...kinda like a freight train on a grade with no brakes.

Reality is that most ppl are so overwhelmed or self centered that they just don't or can't care and we find ourselves alone with our struggles. Our doctors can only do so much for us and how many times can we ask others for prayer.

Fatigue usually goes along with everything else we deal with and the other life issues that our illness' bring can mount up and overwhelm us causing us to become depressed.

Had one of those moments this weekend and I just broke down and cried. My bother is in the same boat as I and he's also a pastor.

I'm thankful that we are able to share this unique experience here in CF.

Please post what ever you feel here about this topic.
 

Fangtastic

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When I'm having a good day then I'm okay to deal with. When the pain is such that I depend on an RX to help me move or just exist you don't wanna be in the same room with me. I was prescribed several things to lift my mood while I'll deal with illness but I become the opposite of what dep meds do. I pray to release the depression. Gee,people ask does it work? No. It just helps me realize my stupid depression and pain make me hand in hand with Jesus. He helps me realize life here is my trial. Hard to live a normal life though.How 'bout you?


God helps just by being your rock.
 
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pumanator

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Last friday after work I was hurtin' and bummin'...I stopped and begrudgingly gave Him praise. It broke me and I was able to just cry and I felt a little better and some peace. Fang, you're 100% right about it giving us the opportunity to get closer...it's that or push Him away in our own bitterness, which I'm quite good at:doh:, but learning to to not be:amen:
 
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mmreed

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I went through this same struggle today and yesterday... it seems that I am always in some type of pain, and after spending the past few years encountering problem after problem, I find myself getting very depressed and thinking "what misery lies ahead". I find it hard to see any blessings around me, and always focus on the pain and my depression. Unless you have experienced these feelings, you just cant understand...thats the case with my wife...she gets so upset with me, and I wish I could turn off these feelings like a switch, but I cannot. With chronic pain, it is hard to see the positive things in life when while you are looking for them, you have a stabbing pain somewhere reminding you that you will hurt not only now, but in the future. I find myself often wanting to just sleep all the time just so I dont have to consciously deal with the depression and the nagging pain.

It does bring you closer to God. Ive found myself praying more and more... but Im thinking that it brings you closer in a way where you beg for healing much more as well...not a closeness of the happiness that should be felt, but more of a "please save me from this dispair" closeness.

I imagine many people with chronic pain also encounter the thoughts of wanting to just end it...not for attention, or a cry for help, but truly just end it...as they are simply tired of living this way and question what possible purpose could be derived from all the suffering. Thankfully I have not encountered these thoughts much...but to be honest, I think it crossed the minds of everyone with chronic pain.

Its a tough place to be in... suffering pain that always seems to be present, the depression of knowing it will be there again tomorrow, and the sadness of seeing those around you being drawn down because you are not able to function like others.

Eventually comes the thoughts of "why wont God heal me? Why wont my prayers be answered?" or "What possible good purpose is my pain serving and why must I suffer like this just to serve this purpose?"

It is easy for people to say "he does hear you and will answer" or "you have a pupose" etc... But those people do not feel the suffering we do on a daily basis.

What about the people with Chronic pain that suffer thier entire lives, only to grow older, become bedridden, and lay in pain until they pass away? Even Job from the Old Testament had his pains taken away eventually.....

As I said, I had these same thoughts over the past few days as I deal with various afflictions and try to lead a normal happy life....but it is very hard and many times you simply just cannot "turn off the unhappiness switch".
 
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pumanator

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Man.........you have read the thoughts of many of us and vocalized that which we dare not for fear of the concequences of doing so. You want to scream it from the top of your roof and shake your fist at the ski but then God whispers, ""I"suffered not just the pain of the cross, but the pain of all the sin of the world and the pain you and every hurting person to every existed...for you...just you and only you if you where the only person to ever beleive and spend eternity with me". The pain doesn't leave but the tears come and some release of pent up emotions as well.

Reed, your post brought me to tears...many nights I have prayed God please take me home...and the frustration with ppl at church, family, friends because they "can't relate" has been the cause of much bitterness. These forums for me have been a God send of encouragement and given me the opportunity to do the same for others. The Psalms is the only place I can point you for help, even the psalmist worried about the old age thing even as we do.

Your post hit the nail square...I tell you as I must tell myself to hang in there and trust God a day at a time. And in these forums you will find understanding and love from those of us who CAN relate:groupray:.

Come here often and fellowship with us...you are in good company.
 
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pumanator

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It is a fact that there is no way to avoid the bad days. I watched a 4 day weekend go up in smoke due to the flu and the way my body over reacts to everyday illness' and it can be very frustrating. Other ppl get to their weekends and go about their biz be it stuff to do around the house or go somewhere fun, etc...but not us...not always.:(

I'm trying to see these times as God wanting/willing to spend time with me and not let it be another source of bitterness (easier said than done). :bow:

What it does do for me is to really be thankful for the good days and not waste them.:idea:

If it were up to me I would be "bruce almighty" and heal every person on the face of the planet...along w/ other ills of humanity...but I'm not and though that movie is somewhat sacreligious it does show that only God knows what the big picture is.

I hope and pray you find some joy this weekend and that next week will be less of a challenge...bottom line leave it in His hands (once again, easier said than done, and how I fail:p).
 
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mmreed

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Pumanator,

Im reading your post sitting here after having toe surgery on Wed., and all I can think is "why me... why yet ANOTHER medical problem?".

Part of the surgery involved removing both toenails on my big toes... and instead of things going smoothly like the doctor said, they have become swollen and numb.

It is things like this that makes me really question my place on the planet, and my role in God's plan. Why must every time I turn around, encounter some type of medical problem...and why must they become worse instead of being normal everyday "heals quickly" type problems? It seems I am a magnet for pain and complications.

Im sitting here, with my feet wrapped in bandages, taking Vicodin and Antibiotics...and trying to hold in from crying over the entire ordeal and the fact "one more things didnt go right". My wife is here beside me, and as I mentioned in one of my other posts here, she has a hard time dealing with me when I start discussing with her "why does this continue to happen". I try to put on a good show for her sake and I guess thats why i am here now posting (thank God for my laptop).

I just want a period of time where I am not in pain, can walk ok, can breathe ok, and can have a normal time with my family... I just wish I could have a few days to walk around a park and enjoy life. Im so tired of being depressed and in pain all the time... just going to work, coming home, and sitting there thinking about "what hurts". As I sit here typing this, I am reflecting on the the fact I am only 36 years old, and have had more medical problems than many people twice my age... this has me almost in tears thinking "what do the next 36 years ahead have in store?".

I read so many posts and hear so many testimonies about people feeling the healing power of God, and how they are instantly transformed...people that can state the exact second in time when they felt the tremendous change. People that go from being broken and suffering to ones that are free of pain and loving life.

I want to be one of those people - more than anything... let me be a walking testimony of healing power of God.

I know God hears all of us, and loves all of us more than anything...but why are there some of us that suffer our entire lives? What purpose could it serve? Let me feel the relief Job from the OT felt when his sufferings were lifted.
 
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pumanator

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I am an expert in "why me". Billy Grahm and the fact that he has Parkensins desease...his whole life dedicated to the Gospel. There are no easy anwsers.

This is a learning experience for both you and your wife..been there and doing that as we speak so I know. If you have a good church you belong to and you trust your pastor then the rule of the day would be marriage counsoling. We are suppost to bare one anothers burdens but we can't get the help if we don't ask as James states you have not because you ask not...of God and our brothers.

I'll give you a little back ground on me so you will understand that I understand and can relate.

Grew up with severe ADHD and was that school outcast/punching bag. Alcoholic dad. Got married too young after my mom bailed at high school graduation so I moved out and didn't go to college (got my AA at 36). Broke my lower back in 90-fusion only option but have been able to not do it. Still give me grief. 4 yrs ago blew out both shoulders and disc in neck at work. One surgery done and one to go. Blew out both knees at work, one surgery that made it worse and one I'm affraid to do. Arthritis in both feet and get to wear orthotics. Torn abdominal wall muscle and no surgery will fix. IBS and acid reflux from yrs of pain meds and worry.......yup, I'm a mess and still go to work everyday.

I used to love to hike and mtn bike in the mtns where I live..no more.
I have a season pass to Disneyland, but can't stay on my feet very long and have to bite the bullet and rent a wheel chair:(, not to mention I don't ride much there either, just go there to be with my wife and rememinise about our high school days.
I used to run........
Going off roading in my jeep is even getting to be too much.

Soooo...yea it can be a real bummer and I wonder whats next. Whats next is tomorrow and Gods mercies are new every morning.

Spring is almost here...even if you need to get an old wheel chair get out of the house, go to church, the movies, what ever it is you can get some enjoyment out of.

It has taken me 16 yrs to finally start to let God change my mind set.

My God...man I know it's hard, and it sucks to be us, but our families need us and we have to be strong in the Lord and it is no easy task. You need ppl to encourage you and hold you accountable, but I'm tellin' you that's hard to find.

Just maybe God wants you to reach out to others in your community who are in the same boat. www.joniandfriends.org is a great place to go for help.

Hang in there man and keep your eys on Jesus and not the pain, the enemy wants to destroy you, don't let him.

We love you here :groupray:and are always here to listen and give our so so advise (apply salt here^_^).

Your in our prayers Reed
 
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pumanator

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It can be a vicious cycle and the two most definitely feed on each other and sometimes no matter how hard we try to keep our heads up, it is a physiological fact that pain draws down our energy and the resulting fatigue causes a normal (or should I say in our case, abnormal) low in our emotional state...in other words it's to be expected.
 
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sk8Joyful

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Hi pumanator :)

I have been following this thread here, and notice how you continue :help: searching for harmless :angel: positive-resources in helping you live more successfully. Just what God wants you to do, so Good for you!

pumanator said:
Billy Graham and the fact that he has Parkensins desease...his whole life dedicated to the Gospel. There are no easy anwsers.
Actually, much closer than you have been taught to think, is the following medical realizations. Ever heard of the "Placebo-effect", pumanator? - (that's where 'doubly-blind studies' are done, in which no-one knows who's gettin' the "real"-deal, and who's gettin' the "fake"-deal. Turns out, neither matters. What matters truthfully, is what *your own mind expects* - it will create, and re-create, as your own reality, over & over & ...) and
since you mentioned Billy Grahams' "Parkinson's", what better way to demonstrate this than to have you carefully research this article on it, here: http://www.newstarget.com/001125.html. - "Parkinson's disease patients underwent a surgical procedure that transplanted human neurons into their brains.
But half the patients had no neurons transplanted whatsoever and were merely told, deceptively, by their doctor that the neurons had been transplanted. The result?? Even those patients who received the sham operation showed significant improvements in brain and body function a full 12 months later. Iow, they didn't even have the surgery, but they thought they did. So their bodies responded and *self-healing* kicked in." - (btw pumanator,

last year here in CF, as a counseling-Teacher I proposed/suggested a *JOY-forum* - wherein people such as yourself (who have benefitted from your own "self-healing" - as God has so blest each of us, from before our mortal conception), would come and bear Testimony as Witnesses to just how well such *mind*-processes succeed.
Alas, that successful suggestion was denied, for reason of "People have a right to stay stuck in their problems, and just come here & get pity". Isn't that the saddest thing!)

Well, you're a more intelligent soul than that, right? ;)
pumanator said:
It has taken me 16 yrs, to finally start to let God change my mind set.
Well, from that cemented-mind state, waste no more time then - in setting yourself Free! :) You can do it! , (as well as anybody else, who wants it). For instance, God helped me *self-heal* from cancer, osteoporosis, etc - so to my present practice of "Teaching others how", I also bring a wealth of positive personal stories. Nothing like sharing *personal success*, eh? - What a powerful motivator, helping people in search of 'Salvation' - spiritually, as well as emotionally and physically.
pumanator said:
Keep your eyes on Jesus and
not the pain, the enemy wants to destroy you, don't let him.
Excellent-start = Accepting :groupray: Jesus Christ as your own personal Savior, for your spiritual well-being. Yup, ya gotta have this right foundation in your life, as a starter. Only
then,
will you be safe in adding the *mind* :thumbsup: connection, for after all, God designed/created this for each of us too, right.
pumanator said:
This is a learning experience ...
Yup, it sure is. And a *FUN* :clap: learning experience at that, I might add :wave:

Well, I've given you a few gold-nuggets to get you started.

Feel free, asking for more .. :D. And I wish you the very finest :kiss: that God offers each of us,

Annie :hug:
 
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2scoops

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Sk8joyful, I am in total agreement about the whole placebo. I have been studying this kind of stuff for about three years now. Have you ever heard of John E Sarno, his theory has helped many recover from chronic conditions. We live in a society that is satuarated by the wrong inforamtion and people are getting rich off of it. I am reading the Wall Street Journal for school and there is an article that sais some pharmacuetical companies and doctors are creating diagnosis to increase piull sales. I would like to learn more of the mothod you are talking about. I believe knowledge and wisdom are power. You have to learn the TRUTH to cure the problem, nnot just mask symptoms.
 
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sk8Joyful

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2scoops said:
Sk8joyful, I am in total agreement about the whole placebo. Have you ever heard of John E Sarno?

I would like to learn more of the mothod you are talking about. I believe knowledge, and wisdom, are power. You have to learn the TRUTH to cure the problem, not just mask symptoms.
Yes, he's the M.D. who's written books about -->How repressed negative (deadly like fear/anger) emotions in the human-*mind* can/will cause dis-comfort, dis-ease, illnesses (heart-conditions, diabetes, cancer, and pain so chronically severe, that people will themselves to die - and succeed<---.

And that is true more often, than not.
I can testify to that, because I have also helped people (trade-in emotional hells with which they drove themselves insane), for Life they're enjoying much better...

But there are many people, lately writing books where they 'Assign certain-emotions to certain unwanted conditions', and assume "That causes this"- common type causealogy, that may, or may not really be the case - for any one *unique individual*. -

Well, what is your own :) personal story of *success* - in this journey?

Annie
 
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2scoops

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sk8Joyful said:
Yes, he's the M.D. who's written books about -->How repressed negative (deadly like fear/anger) emotions in the human-*mind* can/will cause dis-comfort, dis-ease, illnesses (heart-conditions, diabetes, cancer, and pain so chronically severe, that people will themselves to die - and succeed<---.

And that is true more often, than not.
I can testify to that, because I have also helped people (trade-in emotional hells with which they drove themselves insane), for Life they're enjoying much better...

But there are many people, lately writing books where they 'Assign certain-emotions to certain unwanted conditions', and assume "That causes this"- common type causealogy, that may, or may not really be the case - for any one *unique individual*. -

Well, what is your own :) personal story of *success* - in this journey?

Annie
So you probably have heard of Louise Hay, Brandon Bays, Deepak Chopra, Canadance Pert, Norman Cousins etc. Louise Hay pretty much thinks she has a symptom matched with a certain emotion or personality type.

I have used Sarno, to help with my chronic back pain, leg pai, feet pain. It has been flaring up a little lately. I have used Sarno to bring up feelings of inadaquecy, worry, fear, repressed anger. I always look for tools that help me uncover repressed emotions, but sometimes it's hard for me to concentrate and find answers, that's why I would really like to hear more info on what you have. This stuff is REAL.
 
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