http://www.christianforums.com en Sun, 22 Nov 2009 18:35:58 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.christianforums.com/style/misc/rss.jpg http://www.christianforums.com http://www.christianforums.com/t7413882/ Sat, 31 Oct 2009 09:57:45 GMT my frustrations in words.

"It will happen"

I remember when you suggested the thought
I laughed "would it happen? probably not"
but still the idea, it lingered and grew
I loved the idea of always being with you
I said "lets go do it" and you had agreed
but then you said more time is what you need
I waited and waited until my spirits dampened
and all you would say was "it will happen"
I hated those words and hated my home
so I pulled you aside to be alone
I told you how it hurt and made me cry
"Why won't it happen? I need to know why.
To solve all my problems you are all I need"
"It hurts so bad" I would plead and plead
you said "money's to blame and college too"
I said "then don't worry, I'll pay for you"
You refused, saying that you would pay
I knew all it meant was you would delay
I didn't understand, I felt so unloved
you knew how I hurt and it wasn't enough
I fell apart, begging you like never before
you became sad, "you're never happy anymore"
It made me scared, seeing you grieve
If I kept making you sad then you might leave
I dried my tears, pulled myself back together
You know I've felt this for what seems like forever
So I'll simply, just quielty continue to wait
knowing you purposely stay in this state
I'll pretend to be strong just to cry at night
say it doesn't matter cause "it will happen" right? ]]> Creative Writing God4Gives http://www.christianforums.com/t7413882/ http://www.christianforums.com/t7413576/ Fri, 30 Oct 2009 02:07:08 GMT I feel like the luckiest person on earth. Yeah, I may not be "worldy pretty" because I do not wear makeup due to allergies or have a job but I have my dream guy. Just when I thought that I was meant to be the ONLY person in the world never married never in love I found him. Yeah at 36 years old I found the guy of my dreams, I could not hardly believe my luck when I found him late this summer.
I guess you could say that I am a late bloomer. I have always thought of myself as a later bloomer. Maybe it is because my parents were too busy in their own world. Mothers world was the booze, fathers was his business that brought him something dear to his heart, money, yuck. They felt that the best way to parent was to just give the kid things, anything they wanted so that they would not bother them and enter their world, but that was not what I wanted, I wanted a parent to spend time with me. I have never been a materialistic kind of woman. LOVE is the ONLY thing that is truly important!!!!!
Okay, life seemed pretty easy, had an apartment, savings and luxery well cable tv with a DVR is luxery to me. I don't know what happened but at the turn of the year (2009) things slowly started to get taken away from me one by one. It was scarey when my easy little world was taken away from me. What was scarier was sleeping in a old sadan car, my best friends car, in the back seat in the blazing summer heat. My best friend slept in the front seat. But thank God I chose a place that was a safe haven for me (and my best friend) which was a hospital parking lot. I just knew that I would be safe there.
Laying in the heated car with the windows cracked I stared into the sky wondering WHY did God do this to me, why is it that I can just have one good thing happen to me.
My luck slowly started to turn around. I found a home, not the most ideal home but heck who am I to complain, it was a shelter and I got out of the blazing heat and it was pretty safe.
Time went on, I got adjusted to my new enviroment slowly but I was still jobless. I wondered if I would get a job soon but most importanly would I ever meet the right guy. I know that as I "ripened" in age that I would become pickier in men.
Then one day I was at the store picking up dinner with my food stamps and I was just thinking, day dreaming as I often did. Then there he stood, the guy of my dreams. I felt my world around me spinning then turn into a blurry haze as I looked into those eyes. Oh he had the most beautiful perfect sexy squinty bedroom eyes. I mean I thought I was looking at a young Indy. Then my eyes traveled from his eyes to his soft looking brown wavy hair trimmed perfectly short around his ears and short in the back, not buzzed but not at all long. His ears stuck out to add to his boyish charm. Then my eyes traveled down to his full lips as he talked to the cashier. He had a lean build and was about 6'2".
I wanted to say something to him but my natural shyness and my big time insecurity stopped me. He left the store and I thought for sure that was that, just a avery hot guy that happened to catch my eye. I paid for my items and left the store.
Days went by on this hot mid-August time. I ventured back to the store to pick up some vegies and I could not beleive my luck there he was AGAIN. Wow, was this a gift from God or what. This time the guy was right behind me in line. I did not know what to say, until he said something about the broccoli that I was going to purchase. I felt my face get flush and my mouth get dry It was the Holy Spirit that gave me strength to talk to this guy. We chatted for like 15 minutes and he asked for my phone number. I gave it to him thinking that he would forget about me that I could not be that lucky.
Later on that night I hear the chime of my cell phone, one of those pre-paid cell phones and it was a number that I did not reconize. I picked up the phone anyway just out of sheer curiousity. To my supprise it was him, the hot guy at the store. We chatted from one subject to another getting to know each other. Not only was he cute but mostly he was genuine and honest. It was like what was missing in my life he had and vise versa. Through the duration of our conversation I found out that he too is a Christian. It was like God hand picked this guy for me. He asked me on a date before ending the phone call, I accepted.
That was the day that my luck turned around, when my life was going to change for the better. And all of this happened on a summer day in mid-August, one of the hottest days of the year, not only the summer heat but my luck. I was truly BLESSED, God blessed me with the one of the things that is dear and precious to me, the one thing that I have always wanted since I was a teen, true love. ]]> Creative Writing aflower4God http://www.christianforums.com/t7413576/