A compilation of musings, ramblings, melancholia, mania, creativity, madness, lyrics, and probably some other random things (i.e., pertaining to my life) that you won't know what to do with. Some entries may trigger (SI/ED/SUI/SA) so be careful if any of those things would affect you.
80. we are caught in the middle
Posted 30th January 2009 at 04:29 PM by Soulwings
Drained, drained, drained. Completely drained of life.
I've been waiting, waiting, waiting, and it really takes a toll on me - or anyone, I would suppose!! - after awhile. I finally heard back from my NP today about the ECT stuff... sounds like she'll have news on my referral appt on Monday. I really hope I qualify for it... really, really hope. Because I REFUSE to take Remeron. I am not going to. It causes weight gain. I am not going to go on something that makes me fatter than I already am. Ugh. I am disgusting.
I am a pointless being. I read, and sleep, and do crunches, and do yoga now and again... and get lazy and sad. Sadder, I mean. Ugh.
I wish I could make things stop. All of this STUFF is wearing me down, draining me...... I want it to just GO AWAY.
But it's not in my powers to do that.
Jarrod's friend (who was best man at our wedding) said that I need to eat more red meat to get iron, because obviously I am deficient in it. As a joke. Not funny. I am a vegetarian and eating meat just... grosses me out. Completely and totally. Yuck.
But part of me wonders if I am deficient in iron. I mean, I don't take an iron supplement, but I do take a multivitamin, so that should give enough iron, right? Says it does...
Blah.
Oh, and fun news... I ordered 5 books from Amazon (used) and they are on their way now. Zoom!!! hehe. One of them is Shock by Kitty Dukakis and Ted someone-or-other, on ECT. I look forward to reading it... sounds like it will be useful. I only hope that I qualify for ECT... if I don't, I am seriously going to be ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY.
I don't even want to think about what ifs... I don't need that right now.
Anyway. So the books are on their way. Yey.
That was the happy thought of the week.
I've been waiting, waiting, waiting, and it really takes a toll on me - or anyone, I would suppose!! - after awhile. I finally heard back from my NP today about the ECT stuff... sounds like she'll have news on my referral appt on Monday. I really hope I qualify for it... really, really hope. Because I REFUSE to take Remeron. I am not going to. It causes weight gain. I am not going to go on something that makes me fatter than I already am. Ugh. I am disgusting.
I am a pointless being. I read, and sleep, and do crunches, and do yoga now and again... and get lazy and sad. Sadder, I mean. Ugh.
I wish I could make things stop. All of this STUFF is wearing me down, draining me...... I want it to just GO AWAY.
But it's not in my powers to do that.
Jarrod's friend (who was best man at our wedding) said that I need to eat more red meat to get iron, because obviously I am deficient in it. As a joke. Not funny. I am a vegetarian and eating meat just... grosses me out. Completely and totally. Yuck.
But part of me wonders if I am deficient in iron. I mean, I don't take an iron supplement, but I do take a multivitamin, so that should give enough iron, right? Says it does...
Blah.
Oh, and fun news... I ordered 5 books from Amazon (used) and they are on their way now. Zoom!!! hehe. One of them is Shock by Kitty Dukakis and Ted someone-or-other, on ECT. I look forward to reading it... sounds like it will be useful. I only hope that I qualify for ECT... if I don't, I am seriously going to be ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY.
I don't even want to think about what ifs... I don't need that right now.
Anyway. So the books are on their way. Yey.
That was the happy thought of the week.
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Recent Blog Entries by Soulwings
- 83. remember surrender (28th October 2011)
- 82. looking for the music, in the music box (26th October 2011)
- 81. take hold of my heart (3rd March 2009)
- 80. we are caught in the middle (30th January 2009)
- 79. i will hold on to this hope that i have (22nd January 2009)
