You are beautiful!! You are a treasure to God.. You are needed in this world.. If you were the only one created in the world.. Jesus would still have died for you.. bless your heart.. I will pray that you are healed.. and know just how much the LORD Himself is calling you to Himself.. His love is beyond our deepest hurt and He promises to walk you through to the other side..

What Moriah says is true. Only Jesus will always be there for you. That's why I decided that Jesus is my hero. No one else can really be my hero, you see? Just when I think my husband is settling down and is going to stop yelling at us....something happens, and I'm deflated again. Just when I think I'm getting close to someone, like at a class or in choir....they talk bad about me or suddenly don't want to be seen with me.

It's just that...people can't supply...what only God can do. People are supportive, nice, but they're just like me...human.

Jesus is the answer every time. He's the one who will get you past SI. Others can be supportive and prayerful, but GOD IS THE MAN. The Rock. Your first love. Of course, you already do know that.

I am arrogant. I am ugly inside and out. I suck. And I hate myself.
These are strong emotions. I wonder how you came to believe these feelings about yourself. Someone must have told you that you are all of these. Perhaps you have done things you are ashamed of. I don’t know what your life has been, but you are certainly having a rough time of it. I see that you are posting on a Christian blog so I am assuming (right or wrong on my part) that you need some affirmation from Christians. On the other hand, you have to be careful because some Christians might criticize you for ‘negative thoughts’. Both my sister and my mother had problems with mental illness and I mean to the level of psychosis. In talking with them, both told me that it was because they had been taught extreme versions of Christianity. Eventually they got over these extreme beliefs, but it was an emotionally difficult period for both of them. They were still Christian after they worked it all out. They were trying to be good people, but felt they lacked what it took. For my own self-defense, because I was taught the same extreme beliefs, stopped being Christian until very recently, a four-decade break.

In the New Testament, we see Christ doing miracles because he is in touch with the Holy Spirit. Other miracles are also done, but nothing like that seems to me to exist today. Christ also tells us to be kind and considerate to others and even that is missing with a lot of Christians. We even had wars and the Inquisition in the name of Christianity. I think something important was lost when Christianity became the official religion of the Roman Empire, and that is the Holy Spirit. You put the words “Holy Spirit” in Google and you get all kinds of explanations about what it is, nothing consistent, though, about the answers. Up until the time of the Holy Roman Empire, people were taught how to find and use the Holy Spirit to evolve, to become good people, but this was intentionally dropped because Christianity was used to promote the agenda of the emperor, which was to have people believe in him as a ruler, don’t follow your wisdom attained through the Holy Spirit. What has happened then, is that Christians are now left with all the pronouncements in the Bible that they are supposed to excel at being good without being shown the Holy Spirit to guide them.