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Well, I'm feeling better today, thank God. Yesterday was also a better day, minus the fact that my husband managed to get injured at work. He had to get 5 stitches under his right eye, poor thing. I was pretty upset about it at first since he didn't tell me about it until after the fact, but that frustration/anger settled down more into concern and thankfulness than his eye was not affected at all. Thank God for safety glasses!!

Not a whole lot is going on right now. I kind...

Soulwings

Well, I'm back after an even longer absence. So hiiii.

I'm not in a very good headspace right now. Really struggling with thoughts like:
- "I deserve all the pain I'm in."
- "I should cut."
- "I should just stop eating since I'm so fat and ugly."
- "I am a horrible person and deserve to die."
- "I deserved the sexual abuse."

I don't know where these thoughts are coming from as I was doing...

Soulwings

Well, here I am... back after an extended absence.

ECT, blah. I went through 10 treatments, and it didn't help a great deal, which was trés disappointing... kind of. I don't know. It's not a scary procedure at all, and I really like the people who did it. I was only IP from Sunday to Wednesday (I think) and then my mum drove me up for the other treatments. You're not allowed to drive yourself, since you go under general anaesthesia and can be quite confused after treatment....

Soulwings

Drained, drained, drained. Completely drained of life.

I've been waiting, waiting, waiting, and it really takes a toll on me - or anyone, I would suppose!! - after awhile. I finally heard back from my NP today about the ECT stuff... sounds like she'll have news on my referral appt on Monday. I really hope I qualify for it... really, really hope. Because I REFUSE to take Remeron. I am not going to. It causes weight gain. I am not going to go on something that makes me fatter...

Soulwings

Well, here I am again.

I'm home, isolating. I'm doing well though - I've not slept yet today - during the day, I mean. I slept 9 hours last night and am still exhausted... if I can make it through today without sleeping at all, then I will have done something I've not managed to do in many days. So I hope I can accomplish that... if so, I will feel, well, accomplished, heh.

Reason why I'm updating? Because I can't think of anything to do that needs to be done (except,...

Soulwings