new beginnings always

I was looking through my last 2 blogs on here

1st http://www.christianforums.com/t45466/
2nd http://www.christianforums.com/t718601/

and I just realize how much things have changed since then. Of course most of the entries have been edited out long time ago. I liked to be able to vent...but eventually I'd feel embarrassed over them. I would have kept them for private viewing, but sadly...such a feature was not available in the past 2 blogs. Threads about self-hatred,...

* kittie *

So 2 negative posts recently...figured I'd do at least one thing positive.

The other night, like more than a week ago, I was laying there worried that my weaknesses as a person would keep me from... well... I wouldn't say keep me from God's plan, but in a way, mess my life up. But I was reminded of this incident last summer.

Back when I was going to school in SD, I was still having some anxiety issues, which also lead to me putting things off. Sometimes important things...

* kittie *

God, thank you so much. I feel elated. No heavy heart. ahh...

Just had to say that.

* kittie *

I spent 7 years trying to get myself out of a miserable depression. Basically, I had just lost my father, been forced to move out alone ( I was very naive and scared at the time), had major body issues (starving and diet pills), and had lost all friends (I was very shy and therefore excluded a lot). And that was just part of it. My self-worth was at an all-time low, partly due to a genetic disease I was born with. And due to some childhood inferiorities, I felt like nothing.

I had...

* kittie *

hmm...So I'm assuming there was no way to have saved old entries? Unless I missed the announcement (which I could have cause I hardly visited CF but to collect blessings and to stick my pet back in daycare )...it would've been nice if there was some forewarning... Guess considering I would've missed it anyway, there's not much I could say. haha

Well maybe it's like everything else in my life. Clean slate...

I am learning to be happy.
Happy in that I'm trying to...

* kittie *