Hello, my decision to become a celibate (no sex before marriage)(or fasting of the physical body) at this stage of my life is so I can have a meaningful relationship with our Heavenly Father. Lol I an hear my mum (R.I.P forever in my heart) saying."Are you a lesbian?"

I have read Pauls letters to the Corinthians. Yes I understand what it means. If I can withhold myself without having sex then don't get married, but if I can't get married.

Yes there are times when I have those sexual urges, but I quickly remember why I am refraining. I remember why I had made this decision. I remember that I am doing this for my Heavenly Father. I want to be closer to him. I want my connection again. I had lost it when I left him.

I have had temptation thrown at me left right and center, one a guy that I was going to meet, but decided against it, had plaintively said to me "You not virgin so why the rule now?" which I replied. "Because I want to be closer to God."

I can be closer to our Heavenly Father in so many otherways, but I feel that I need to do this.

This is part of my journey. I am giving up one of the hardest thing for me to say no to.

How I lasted in the past 6 to 7 years (before my journey back to the Heavenly Father), well I just filled my head with games, books, basically became are hermit.

Now when the urge emerges, being a hermit isn't a option, I will fill my head with the Bible, read books, pray, and fight that urge.

My need for the Almighty Father is more powerful then my need for copulation before marriage.

Fasting is next on the agenda...... boy oh boy I am not looking forward to that...


Blessings