knw1991

i wanna die today, im tired of living like this, my life has no purpose, i wont be missed, people may mourn but they will get over it, thats how life goes, its cruel and painful, i wish i was never created, i wish my birth could be reversed. there is nothing for me here, everything has been taken from me , my faith, hope, concentration, will to fight for my faith, everything is gone, and i have nothing but sins, regrets, pain,loneliness, i dont even know how to reach out for help,

knw1991

my feelings about God and life
depressed at times
feel like i will never be changed or "rehabilitated" after the pain, sinning, and failure
father in prison
dont know how i will prepare for MCAT
dont know if i'll be accepted into medical school
empty at times
rejection and ignored

knw1991

Jesus Dying On The Cross (even Though I Have Given Up Hope In Being A Christian)
Being Alive
My Mom, Sister,aunt Vea, And Family Members That Truly Love Me
Family (even Though Some Dont Act Like It And Barely Talk To Me)
Education (im Glag Ive Come This Far And Have Took Advantage Of Opportunities)
Friends
Teachers Who Have Gone Out Of Their Way To Encourage Me And Help Me
Church Members (they Are Kind, Sweet, And Uplifting)
Food
Shelter...

knw1991

what is really holding me back?
my life is made up of test after test.
i dont know what i want to do with the rest of my life, i have two options in mind, but the one that i always wanted to pursue, medicine, just seems like a never ending road of studying, sleepless nights, more triggers to being depressed, im confused academically, spiritually, and i have nothing to look forward to
sometimes i think about suicide, but the consequences are too great. is life really worth living?...

knw1991

i give up
its easier to accept that im nothing and im a nobody i dont know what the days ahead of me will bring. i dont know where i will end up
i just give up, im tired of trying tired of trying to do right and live right
i dont want to be bothered or loved or accepted just leave me alone to study and watch tv, and sleep.
i wish i was never born then i would not exist or have any knowledge of pain and i wouldnt have to live in this cruel world.
the only thing...

knw1991