at a women's meeting on saturday that i decided to go to my mom with something happened. I believe it was a way God was speaking to me. First of all, I was going to stay up at school in Boca for the rest of the weekend and Veteran's Day. I had to go to an interview bootcamp on Saturday 9:30 am- 3:00 pm. On friday my mom called me and i was talking to her and she said that she would come see me along with my neices after the interview boot camp around 3:00 pm on saturday. Then i suggested that i would just come back home with them. She agreed. On friday, the depression was out of control. My best bet was to just lay down and go to sleep, i was afraid of what I or the devil would bring to mind. So i went to sleep after waking up late at around 2pm. Then i woke up and i called someone at my church who encouraged me and prayed for me. i felt better, what she said made alot of sense. Then i listened to some videos from Life Today with Betty and James Robison. I was encouraged by those videos. On saturday i went to the interview prep,came back, and packed my stuff and waited for my mom to come pick me up. At 7 we went to the meeting and there was a panel of women including my mom who shared their testimonies and how they know God was in their life. Their lives were much more harder than mines.Then a girl did a poem before the panel, asking God if He hears her cries and if He cares. I could relate to her because i was struggling with the same thing. After the panel was done, the door of the church was opened by a young guy with a red bull in his hand, and a big black bookbag on this back. He was either drunk or high, one of them. The door closed, but then he opened it again. The second time he opened it he came in. We were all in silence as we sat down looking at him, anticipating his every move. The lead speaker who was an evangelist asked if we could help him. He didnt really respond. He just started talking about something i cant really remember, then he started reaching in his pocket. we were paranoid and frightened. some people got up and moved closer to the front of the stage. I sat still by my neice and my mom was still sitting in front facing the group of women and children. He pulled out so money and was saying how he wants to pay his tithes because he believes he will find favor with God. He was telling us his life story of addiction, divorce, adultery on his part and his ex wife's part, missing his four little girls, how he loved Jesus so much, and telling us how tired he was. He kept talking and cussing, and finally we prayed for him. this is not all the details, but my takeaway message was that God was with us, we could've died that day. I always flashback to him reaching in his pocket and the cold silence, and the rapid and strong beating of my heart. I also realized that i'm not alone , though my situation doesn't even compare to what he's been through, God still cares, and He does see us and He does care about or hurts and failures. I also realized that there is a purpose for my pain. How can a person who was never depressed help someone who is? God could be allowing me to go through these fluctuating feelings, hopelessness,depression, so i could be able to help someone else like this young man. Now that i know God does hear my cries and knows my pain,i should draw closer to Him and have faith that He does understand, He knows and sees, even when i dont feel like it. I pray for the motivation, the persistence,and the strength to trust God even when you cant trace Him.