rentanaardvark

Had a big breakthrough last night. Finally experienced anger and expressed it in a healthy way that protected myself instead of beating myself up. In fact, it stopped me from dissociating and allowed me to enter back into the game and actually enjoy myself ... almost makes me excited to see T Monday so I can tell her about it ... ALMOST

rentanaardvark

This weekend I have a women's retreat followed by a party with a large group of people, of whom I know only the hosts.

I'm really nervous about this. Not used to spending this much time around other people.

I'm worried about dissociating and having flashbacks triggered ...

Sunday's coming!

rentanaardvark

So, up to this week I have not experienced anger towards others very much if at all. Even when recalling memories, I never had anger toward my abusers. However, anger at myself has always been very easy. My T has been encouraging me to try to recognize anger ... this week, I finally did ... but it was at her. She accused my dad of possibly having abused my mom. This made me angry for her to think that he could ever do such a thing. The anger surprised me for several reasons ... one, I don't...

rentanaardvark