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and soar in the sky.
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Life

Posted 31st December 2011 at 03:40 AM by chaoticfirefly
God is telling me to write City of Angels more. He's giving me ideas after months of struggling with Evelyn's story.

It's in His hands now.
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pessimisstically optimistic
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Life, Life, Life.

Posted 26th December 2011 at 02:58 AM by chaoticfirefly
Thank you God, for everything.

I made it through Christmas dinner without wanting to throw up, and all I did was pray really hard, silently, through dinner for my thoughts to stay silent.

And it worked. I didn't think about the calories, about how I'll gain weight...I didn't have a panic attack.

As for the 'haunting', I'm still very worried but I was given great advice by everyone at the Christian advice forums, and I'll rely on Jesus and God more and more,...
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Humm

Posted 25th December 2011 at 03:25 AM by chaoticfirefly
Merry Christmas everyone!

I owe to God for my happiness and my recovery. It's the best gift ever.
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Life

Posted 30th November 2011 at 02:05 AM by chaoticfirefly
I cut myself on Sunday, I hadn't done that for a few weeks. It's been a long time since I purged, which I guess is a good thing. I feel guilty for it, but I'm trying, I really am. I just...ache, I guess. Everywhere, in my heart, my bones...I finally managed to go to school last week, after skipping an entire week.

I can't even get myself to go to that non-Denominational church because of panic attacks, they're getting so bad again and I'm beginning to hate this.

It's just...
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City of Angels--Excerpt [Story!]

Posted 25th November 2011 at 03:01 AM by chaoticfirefly
Evelyn
Jay is gone.

Austin is gone.

Pepper isn't Pepper, Mel is silent and acting weird. I'm alone again.

I'm left alone again. This always happens, once things start to look up, something snatches it away, rips it to bits and leaves me b r o k e n and going crazy. Maybe I wasn't good enough?

"Evy," Pepper's voice is quiet, her breathing is heavy. "This just..."

I nod, and curl up on my bed as Pepper sits
...
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