So, I don't know how to word this at all without offending some people but I'll do my best I guess. Please be patent with me cause this is something I feel really bad about and I'm not sure what to do. I'm afraid to talk to my pastor about it cause its kinda embarrassing. Please take this seriously cause I'm not sure what I'll do if I can't talk to someone about this.

I've had this problem since I got into the church again and accepted Jesus as my person saviour. I loved the idea that Jesus would be accepting me and everyone I ever loved into an eternity of heaven and it really made me feel good. I started thinking about Jesus all the time. It became distracting from my school. I'd start daydreaming about Jesus accepting me into his loving arms and hugging me instead of paying attention to the teacher. It got to the point where I was having dreams about just being held Jesus every once and a while. One morning I woke up from one of these dreams and I was so tired that I didn't even notice I started playing with myself. As I was doing it, I was thinking about Jesus, and it just seemed so natural, like I was supposed to be doing it. After the fact though, I felt instantly shameful, like I shouldn't have been doing it.. but since, I've been getting the urges to do it more often. I've been having more dreams, and it's really becoming a problem. The other night, I did it again, and afterwards, I slept good and was able to concentrate in school the next day... but I still feel really bad

Has anyone else had this issue? I seriously don't know what to do. Is it ok to feel this way about the saviour? Can I love Jesus that much or is it selfish to do so? I'm so confused... I've been praying every day for God to help me make sense of this.

Please let me know what you think guys