November 7,2009
Posted 7th November 2009 at 09:32 PM by JanuaryMoon
mind clutter.....journaling it out always helped. When I was growing up we did not talk about things. I in particular was forbadden to say anything about anything at anytime...lol. it's good I can laugh at those things now, seems so not so long ago it always made me cry or at least want to. Oct. 31 is my sister's bd, we have never had a relationship ...she was never a sister and was my kids who told me about her and their dad, things like that cut like a knife. We had no communication for over 20 years after that...wasn't just her suducing my husband...was the long line of really --only word fits for me---f---ed up things she did to me including sexually molesting me. My brother sexually molested me also. These are things I kept bottled up for over forty years...when I was forty I had my chakras cleaned....and ever since then I remember my childhood. Not all at once though floods come sometimes. I think it was on a Sally J esse Rachel show, sometime in my 20's...I heard if you don't remember your childhood there's a reason. I had few memories of my childhood and those I did have came from family pictures taken at events. I remember my cousin dying, she was 17, though I did not know her and was only maybe 5 ...and moving when I was 9...then I had the most memories from age 9-18 mostly but under age 9 I only had one or two memories and I know my cousin dying was one cus of how it affected my parents though I don't even now remember their reaction exacty...just that something really awful had happened. the way she died is what stuck with me, she died of carbon monoxide poising having been parked and knecking with her bf with the car running and the heater on.
karma.
in the prophecies of the bible the end result is one god.
so for years I have considered god three...now I see ...god is just the one.....
You reap what you sow.
hey, I got my girls praying for each other now instead of happy for their grief.
just a foot note ...
it is good to pray and to pray for others. why doesn't jesus...god...do stuff about stuff...
free will.
YOU reap what YOU sow.
karma.
in the prophecies of the bible the end result is one god.
so for years I have considered god three...now I see ...god is just the one.....
You reap what you sow.
hey, I got my girls praying for each other now instead of happy for their grief.
just a foot note ...
it is good to pray and to pray for others. why doesn't jesus...god...do stuff about stuff...
free will.
YOU reap what YOU sow.
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 |  opps...forgot...my sister...I sent her a happy bd email...and it meant something to her. we are progressing. |
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