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A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.

"Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked.

"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."

"Is that a record?" she inquired, puzzled in her turn.

"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."

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The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

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2 Kings 4

Elisha saves a Shunammite widow from economic disaster and revives her son from death.

INSIGHT

Elisha's ministry is not startling; it is redemptive and constructive. Elijah was a prophet of fire and judgment; Elisha was a prophet of mercy and compassion. Elijah was a man on the move; Elisha enjoyed a tranquil life at home. Elijah's miracles were destructive; Elisha's were constructive. It must have been tempting for Elisha to want to be like Elijah....

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God is Cheering for You
by Max Lucado
If your God is Mighty enough to ignite the sun, could it be that He is mighty enough to light your path?

God is for you. Not "may be," not "has been," not "was," not "would be," but "God is!" He is for you. Today. At this hour. At this minute. As you read this sentence. No need to wait in line or come back tomorrow. He is with you. He could not be closer than he is at this second....

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Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?"

Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."

Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order."

Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."

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