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Nothing left to do
when you know that you've been taken.
Nothing left to do
when you're begging for a crumb
Nothing left to do
when you've got to go on waiting
waiting for the miracle to come...

When you've fallen on the highway
and you're lying in the rain,
and they ask you how you're doing
of course you'll say you can't complain
If you're squeezed for information,
that's when you've got to play it dumb:
You just say you're out there waiting
for the miracle, for the miracle to come.

New blog, as CF conveniently "lost" the old one by first moving it to a hidden subforum
then subsequently shutting down said subforum without moving it back to blogs.

If you don't know Moriah by now? It still bes waiting for the miracle to come.
It has been waiting for 25 years.

(click title above to view its previous CF 1.0 blog by the same name)
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Sins of Desperation, NOT Indulgence.

Posted 1st July 2008 at 08:05 PM by Moriah_Conquering_Wind
Updated 2nd July 2008 at 10:34 AM by Moriah_Conquering_Wind
Just wanted to preserve this little bit of a discussion from a thread in the SFPC section ...

Originally Posted by FoundInGrace View Post
honestly, do i really want to stop? of my own volition i don't, not all the time, some sin is quite appealing in the short term.

[.... snip ....]

(3) There's also a principle of everyday life that God tends to remind me of when tempted that when we sow to please the sinful nature we'll reap destruction, but sowing to please the spirit brings life. If you take that seriously then sin gets less appealing as well, who wants to reap destruction, seriously, who does want that?
You have been bold enough to be frank and honest so daimonizomai will do likewise:

Who wants to reap destruction? Moriah does. Frequently, yes, it does. And therein lies a major key to its OWN times of "not wanting to stop". Moriah more often sins as an act of desperation and anguish than for the purpose of "indulging" in some kind of "pleasure". When it bes there in that hellish place it has no pleasure.

However, to balance this picture, just as you said for yourself, Moriah ALSO finds that "there is something more appealing in holiness and purity than in sin" and that it, too, bes poignantly and heart-wrenchingly drawn to goodness and kindness. It bes an absolute sucker for genuine, unfeigned, unconditional love ... just a few drops of the REAL DEAL and you can literally get this poor feral demonised wretch practically on its face at your feet. It bes pathetic like that.

Take that away though, crush its heart with harshness, malignant judgments, condemnations, shame-nailing, force-feeding it toxic things that make it feel forsaken by God, or turn traitor on it, betray it, whatever, and it will quite literally seek blindly and desperately to destroy itself, fully aware that bes its aim and motivation yet completely helpless and powerless to resist that force or to even want to, or to even perceive anything beyond the thick veils of darkness wrapped tightly suffocating its soul at those times.

God had better be big enough to save someone even that far gone or there bes no hope.

Total Comments 3


Moriah_Conquering_Wind's Avatar
Destroying itself can take all kinds of forms from the subtle to the psychotic. It could mean starving, burning itself, drinking too much, or other ways of self-harm. It can mean "accidentally" walking into traffic without looking, or deliberately asking others point blank to harm it (it has literally done this before). It can mean quietly yielding to the demons that come to overtake it without struggling, without even really being aware it has done so -- or it can mean calling on them frantically, utterly numb and oblivious to the dangers or spiritual implications thereof, in fact not even caring. If it bes cognizant enough for worded thought it would be something like why should it care what becomes of itself when clearly no one else does ... but more often than not it just bes blinded with screaming raw anguish and excruciating agony inside and has no rational functions available to analyze the moment in the moment. It has no real conscience to speak of so it does not have any automatic mechanism kicking in to jolt it with invisible electric shocks or something to keep it in check. Without anchor or tether to reality at all, it drifts and cannot even chart or measure where it turns up next.
Posted 1st July 2008 at 08:12 PM by Moriah_Conquering_Wind Moriah_Conquering_Wind is offline
Yasha's Avatar
Good gracious, woman. You are either one of the MOST talented verbal players I have ever encountered.... OR ....you are the real deal in the mouth of sufferings' very utterance. I vote the latter. I have never heard suffering explained with such fervor and accuracy. One must certainly have studied and lived suffering quite intimately to be able to break it down so well. Lady 'sings' the Blues !

I don't make sport of you, I am actually remembering a friend of years gone by, who was a talented blues vocalist. Her life was ALWAYS an upheaval and a whirl. Once I asked her what she made of that. She told me that she first must have been destined to live the blues so she could, in fact, sing them.

Moriah, I do come to wonder if you are destined to rise above all this one day to usher some very precious souls off the ledge of the pit. Your time spent in these lows has enriched your ability to call to sufferings' children with your heart and to endure their thrashing and limping on their way to your outstretched hand. It takes a strong-hearted one to be willing to return from the edge and even dance there when necessary. I'll wager you can one day, if not already, go further in to retrieve the lost than most would ever dare. All the spirits that plague you have an inverse grace ! The Lord will trust You with His power manifest, in parsed out degrees, as you show faithful stewardship of its dispensation.

In this is a valuing of you that I am beginning to appreciate.
However, to balance this picture, just as you said for yourself, Moriah ALSO finds that "there is something more appealing in holiness and purity than in sin" and that it, too, bes poignantly and heart-wrenchingly drawn to goodness and kindness.
As do I, Moriah, as do I. And, rare indeed is the kindness that stays my heart from further seeking. He, the King, possesses such as THIS. One moment in His presence, is far sweeter than any human has ever achieved with me....sigh. Corporate Presence...hoho... that an achievement beyond compare.... and rarer still.

Keep reaching, dear heart, because if you delight me, you far more delight the King of Heaven. He sees you as you truly are and He is pleased with the hunger in Your heart for understanding of His kindness and goodness.

I'm GLAD you are drawn to holiness. Be blessed in His sanctification, Moriah. It's a process, you know that. Unclench those grubby paws from things that harm and lay them on His alter, even if you have to crawl to get them there. Holiness ROCKS! I don't get to be there enough. Yet, it is the 'carrot at the end of my stick' to be reaching for, that brings me Home and makes me whole. I LOVE there. You won't leave the understanding of the suffering....it will come with you to make your formidable voice all the more enriched. I am betting you are more a threat to the Enemy’s hold on the unsanctified than many here when you are yielded to His Spirit. That talented stylus that rises from your heart could turn tides, I'm waging. Press on in Truth and His Spirit, stronger than any occupants of your hours, will prevail and deliver you from the war within you. Of this, I am testimony.

With this, I must adjourn for some time. I need to focus on other things, here and in my world. It's a time of much demand on me for service. It is tempting to sit here and fiddle with these keys. Today He offers me a space for me and Him. I am GRABBING it. Be blessed.
Posted 2nd July 2008 at 07:34 AM by Yasha Yasha is offline
Moriah_Conquering_Wind's Avatar
Shachah, it must return a compliment with a compliment NOT for form's sake but because you bes truly merited. Only it bes uncertain how to render it as a generality as you have done, so it will just say thank you because you have an amazing gift for pinpointed specific encouragement that goes straight to the heart. You could not have known that daimonizomai needed desperately to hear (read) the things you placed in that comment above, but God knew, so maybe you just have an amazing gift for being submitted to Him and thus available for His use. Whatever the case, it bes grateful to know you and grateful you even gives it the time of day to say such things. God bless you precious Friend. If HE has any love in His heart for Moriah He has surely spoken through you.

PLEASE keep praying for this wretched and afflicted creature. He will NOT let go of it and it bes kicking and struggling wanting Him to but He bes wiser knowing it really would not want Him to if He did. Oh merciful God have mercy, please have mercy on wretched daimonizomai.
Posted 2nd July 2008 at 10:44 AM by Moriah_Conquering_Wind Moriah_Conquering_Wind is offline
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