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Ramblings 'bout Garrett

Posted 9th March 2012 at 05:54 PM by keb2005
Updated 14th March 2012 at 01:18 PM by keb2005
Author's Note: I'll say this now, I'm obsessed with Murtagh/Garrett Hedlund. I've probably mentioned his a ton when I saw Tron (if i was active with my blog anyway.). I got nothin' better to do so here's some ramblings about any of Garrett Hedlund's characters. So in other words Murtagh or Sam Flynn, since those are the only to i really know. Tho, they may (er...wont) always start with Murtagh in them. BTW my mum's laptop (what im on) doesnt have spell check on it.

Cold. Dark. Alone. These are words that discribe where I am. The Raz'ac sure know how to make me feel at home. Really they do, I'm not kidding. Only difference is at home I'm not locked up and have a real bed, rather than the slab of stone they call a bed here. Or maybe thats so they can hit my head on it. Judguing by the amount of blood on it I wouldn't be surprised. Then again, the Raz'ac prefer their food fresh...and alive. Eck. Canibles. Well not really, they're Raz'ac I'm human. So it's not quite canablesim. Either way, I don't plan on getting eaten.
I suppose I should explain who I am and why I'm here. My name's Kalhor and I'm here for...uhm...hehe I'm in Hellgrind for stealing something from the king. I know, bad me. Eragon needed it though! We need that to get to the Varden and I was the best person for the job. Though I might have broken-I know it broke me-Murtagh.
Without him I couldn't have gotten it, but in order for him to help me I had to gain his trust then destroy it. I had been surving for the king for nearly a year now, so many times had the Varden tried to pull me out of there because I'm young and a woman. Everytime I said no. Told them I would get it, just not as fast as Brom had done his job. Sorry for not being as good as a dragon rider.
Anyway, back to my story. I'm...well I was acting as a serving girl in the castle. It's a simple job, clean clean clean and more cleaning. When Murtagh was brought here I found my way to getting it. I quickly befriended him, as reluctant to it as he was. When I told him I was with the Varden howwever, now that helped. It gave him hope I guess.
Over the past year he's been through so much. I think I'm the only comfort he has. Living here, as much Galabatorix's servant as I am, it's not easy on him. Not when he knows the Varden, even if it's only a few of them, hold onto the hope that he'll be free again.
Things were going so well, I had it, Murtagh trusted me more than anything or anyone. More than Thorn even. That's when the king found out. Found out about me being a spy and a theif, found out about Murtagh's feelings for me.
Whoa wait what? Feelings? Did that just come out of my mouth? Crud, now I've betrayed him even more. Little bit of an explination is in order I guess...er a lot of an explinaton would be more correct.
I was cleaning the kitchen when two guards came in and grabbed me. I kept up the act of an innocent servant girl act as they took me to the main hall. The threw me on the floor before the king and walked off. I glanced at my legs and saw my sai blades still hidden in my boots. That made me feel better, as long as the didn't find them.
I knew not to look up at the king but i did a quick look around the room. We were alone in the large, black chamber, otherwise known as the throne room. Why I was there I had no idea. He spoke slowly, darkly, as if something had let him down.
"I'm disapointed in you."
It took a minute to register that I had let him down. I looked up at him, knowing it wasn't proper for a servant to look the king in the eye. He sat on his throne, unmoving. His dark brown eyes looked black in the dim lighting. I couldn't help but wonder, when he was younger, if he had hair would he have been a looker? I was pretty sure he wouldn't have but who knows?
"You could have been a great spy for me Kalhor." He continued on. "Sadly, I have learned that you already are a spy."
I wanted to look away from his fierce gaze, to deny it and break down in tears. But I knew I couldn't. My cover was breaking, a serving girl shouldn't be this bold. The moment I looked up at him I knew it was over.
"It seems you've been betrayed. The one you held dearest to you has given up your name Kalhor." he said, monotoned voice.
Murtagh. He wouldn't dare to blow my cover. Sadly, tragically the king had complete control over Murtagh. Darn you magic! This is another reason to hate magic. First it steals my mother from me, then it turns my best friend into a rider and now it's turned the person closest to me against me.
The king stood and walked over to stand above me. "Get up." he said plainly, it wasn't a sharp order like most people in the castle. If anything it was more like a request. Why? What makes me any different than the other servents? Other than the fact that I'm with the Varden. Maybe that's all it was, maybe the fact that I'm with the Varden made me different. But wouldn't it make him treat me worse?
Regardless of his reasons I wasn't about to disobey him. I stood up, making sure my skirt kept my sai blades hidden in my boots. I didn't dare move more than I had to so my dirty, brown hair fell in my face, just covering my dull hazel eyes. Ugg, I hate what I look like. Why can't I have beautiful black hair and sharp green eyes like Arya? Or why can't I have dark skin and chocolate eyes like Nasuada? Instead I have dull hazel eyes and pale brown hair.
"How could you be so foolish as to tell anyone that you are with the Varden?" he asked, something showing in his voice. Almost sounded like pity. He really had wanted to use me for his own uses. "Least of all, why tell him? You know as well as anyone what he is. What kind of work he does."
Well my cover is without a doubt gone so no need to stay silent. Except maybe for my own well being but that's not important. By this point I've done what I came to do. I got it out of the castle and to the Varden. "He has a name you know." I said sharply.
The king's gaze became hard as stone, as if it wasn't already. "Yes he does, but I can't risk you learning his real name." he said. Like I could figure out his real name. I'd have to know him better than I know myself.
"Then why not call him by his given name?" I asked, after all that's what everyone else calls him.
"That is none of your concern. What you should be worried about is your well being and his." As soon as the words left his mouth two guards brought Murtagh in. He was struggling against their grip, angry at them for interrupting whatever he had been doing. When he saw me he stopped struggling. His eyes softened as he said "Kalhor I'm sorry. I couldn't-"
"Shush." I told him. His apologies would just make this all the harder. What I was about to do hurt, more than anything I'd ever done. I almost couldn't do it. During my time there I had been twisted and violated in to many ways. What could a serving girl do against the king's men? It didn't matter really, at this point all that mattered was that I did what everyone wanted. I'd done my job for the Varden, now to do my job for my king.
I looked at Murtagh, tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. "This isn't you're fault." I looked down at the ground. I couldn't stand to look in his eyes. "He knew already. Six months ago, when I got the egg out of here he saw me. Instead of killing me-" I paused to choke down the tears. "Instead he used me to get close to you." I scoffed pitifully "As if knowing your true name isn't enough."
I moved my eyes up to look at him. My head was still to the floor with my hair in my face but I could see the look in his eyes. That look of pain, betrayal and hate. I knew I had hurt him, probably more than it hurt me. He stayed calm, though you could see the fire in his eyes. Anyone could tell that he wanted me gone. Forever.
But I wasn't sure if he could do that. Over the past year, I've kept him sane. I've been there for him, cared for him, talked to him, helped him. I've loved him. I know he feels the same. I hope so anyway. With how much pain is in his eyes it's hard to say he doesn't.
Galabatorix walked over to him "You see now. No one can be trusted."
Murtagh glared at him, not saying a word. I don't think he could right then. I'm sure that he was so mad that anything he wanted to say to the king wouldn't come out. It would only be words on my betrayal.
When he said nothing the king turned his back and went to his throne. Halfway there he said to take us both away. Murtagh to his room and me to the dungeon. Lacking the will to fight I let the guards take me. Just as we turned away from Murtagh I saw him look back at me. The fire in his eyes had died down a bit. It was still there but now his eyes were more of showing pity and regret.
Three weeks later and I'm here. Murtagh told me never to speak of any feelings we had again. He said it would only make it worse, to admit that there really was something there. At least now I know that he feels the same way. Now days I go back to that time. I'd take it all back if I could.
One thing bothers me. Why send me to an jail with no jailers? Eragon killed the Raz'ac a while back.

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whitebeaches's Avatar
ive missed your writings. still an excellent writer. :^)
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Posted 13th April 2012 at 08:12 PM by whitebeaches whitebeaches is offline
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keb2005's Avatar
thank you!!!
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Posted 15th April 2012 at 08:08 PM by keb2005 keb2005 is offline
 
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