My Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
After so many years of disobedience, of faithlessness and degradation, I have finally found my home. For more than a decade now I was barely a Christian in even name, paying lip service but failing to live as commanded. I excused every manner of sin within myself and my failure to war against my passions poisoned not only myself but those I loved. For over a decade I wallowed in filth - having squandered my inheritance.
Only Christ was able to free me from this bondage, to break the chains I have forged for myself. He alone changed me, comforted me, released me from the hatred and the shame, the lust and the greed. For the first time in as long as I could remember I have found peace. While this peace, this amazing grace, is free to me - I must now cooperate with it. I must from this moment on obey and follow the path laid out in accordance with His Will. No longer will I trust on my own understanding, for I can do nothing without Christ.
I was baptised a Catholic but cannot reconcile myself with Rome. For most of my life I was a poorly behaved Protestant - but there is only shallowness and the cult of self. Both left my spirit hungry, thirsty and longing for communion with both God and fellow Christians. Finally, I feel at home. Today I attended the Divine Liturgy and I cannot begin to describe how overwhelmed I was. I stood and watched as not a group of people, but one family in Christ raised their voices in love and reverence and together worshiped. How many years I've longed for this. I am an outsider, a stranger, but I felt like after a long journey, I had come home. One of the elder women of the Church introduced herself and we spoke for a time, introducing me to the Abbot. The Abbot, Deacon and elder men of the church were gracious and nurturing of my desire to learn and my need to obey. I didn't know these people, they didn't know me, but they were so kind and open and loving. I spoke openly about my past, my desire to return to God after being faithless for so long; but it honestly didn't feel like a return, so much as it felt I was starting anew. I was encouraged to continue to attend and become part of their community, to be active in the Church and through practical action learn and grow.
I write these things down not to boast or take pride in what I feel, but because I feel so overwalked and joyful that I cannot keep this to myself.
Pray for me, Brothers and Sisters, as I continue down my path to learn obedience to Christ through the Holy Orthodox Church. Pray for me that I learn humility and faith, so as to set aside my pride and arrogance. Pray that I have the courage to walk in faith, not shying away from sharing Christ with others be it in deed or word.
Alone I can do nothing, but I am able to do all things in He who strengthens me.
After so many years of disobedience, of faithlessness and degradation, I have finally found my home. For more than a decade now I was barely a Christian in even name, paying lip service but failing to live as commanded. I excused every manner of sin within myself and my failure to war against my passions poisoned not only myself but those I loved. For over a decade I wallowed in filth - having squandered my inheritance.
Only Christ was able to free me from this bondage, to break the chains I have forged for myself. He alone changed me, comforted me, released me from the hatred and the shame, the lust and the greed. For the first time in as long as I could remember I have found peace. While this peace, this amazing grace, is free to me - I must now cooperate with it. I must from this moment on obey and follow the path laid out in accordance with His Will. No longer will I trust on my own understanding, for I can do nothing without Christ.
I was baptised a Catholic but cannot reconcile myself with Rome. For most of my life I was a poorly behaved Protestant - but there is only shallowness and the cult of self. Both left my spirit hungry, thirsty and longing for communion with both God and fellow Christians. Finally, I feel at home. Today I attended the Divine Liturgy and I cannot begin to describe how overwhelmed I was. I stood and watched as not a group of people, but one family in Christ raised their voices in love and reverence and together worshiped. How many years I've longed for this. I am an outsider, a stranger, but I felt like after a long journey, I had come home. One of the elder women of the Church introduced herself and we spoke for a time, introducing me to the Abbot. The Abbot, Deacon and elder men of the church were gracious and nurturing of my desire to learn and my need to obey. I didn't know these people, they didn't know me, but they were so kind and open and loving. I spoke openly about my past, my desire to return to God after being faithless for so long; but it honestly didn't feel like a return, so much as it felt I was starting anew. I was encouraged to continue to attend and become part of their community, to be active in the Church and through practical action learn and grow.
I write these things down not to boast or take pride in what I feel, but because I feel so overwalked and joyful that I cannot keep this to myself.
Pray for me, Brothers and Sisters, as I continue down my path to learn obedience to Christ through the Holy Orthodox Church. Pray for me that I learn humility and faith, so as to set aside my pride and arrogance. Pray that I have the courage to walk in faith, not shying away from sharing Christ with others be it in deed or word.
Alone I can do nothing, but I am able to do all things in He who strengthens me.
